After two long weeks of street war and bloodshed, plus hundreds dead and thousands more with severe injuries, the executives at SarcasticGamer.com are finally taking responsibility. A recall has been issued for every Sarcastic Gamer t-shirt distributed.
“People just didn’t realize how cool these shirts were until after they started showing up on the backs of loyal SG fans,” explained Jeromy ‘Doc’ Adams. “Once they appeared in public, it was all-out barbarian maulings to obtain a shirt in any possible way. Walking into Gamestop was like fighting for a loose basketball against a bunch of coked-out Globetrotters.”
Although approximately 200 t-shirts were sold, the official number of deceased geeks passed the 700 mark late yesterday. Nicholai Kozlov, age 17, walked into a Moscow bowling alley sporting the ’sarcasm > truth’ apparel. After his shirt-inspired confidence allowed him to bowl strikes in his first five frames, he was tackled by a random bowler wearing fake purple ‘Night Elf’ ears. Kozlov was then fatally stabbed eight times with a butter knife, later described by the attacker as ‘the Shortsword of Vengeance’.
However, in relation to the seemingly impossible 700 death toll, the night elf was soon sent to the graveyard by an enthusiastic SG fan, armed with a jousting pole on a moped.
And then that guy ran into a tree.
Unfortunately, Sarcastic Gamer will not offer cash refunds for any merchandise sold. Customers have a choice between a personalized ‘I’m Sorry’ letter from Dave, or a replacement t-shirt that is guaranteed to cause a 100% drop in savage muggings.
(thanks for the picture unohisname)
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
25 responses so far ↓
1 Lono // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:15 pm
xibxang, you are one ugly mother f##ker…
lol…
Look!! It’s a BigAndiD sighting!!!
and, OMG, a female fan of Sarcasticgamer??? Who knew? Dave will be so pleased.
2 darkwonders // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:18 pm
another low blow to GTR! XD I love it!
And so tasteful as well.
3 YogiB // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:18 pm
LOL… If that`s the new T-Shrits I shall order one,because Sweden is you neighbor country ( I live in Norway)..
4 Tinman // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I’ll take that note…
5 Sean "Rothbart" Workman // Apr 11, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Volkov… the force is _strong_ with this one!
Nice job man!
6 xibxang // Apr 11, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I nearly sprayed whisky and coke all over my screen. Brilliant post. I really AM ugly!
\o/
7 anjo banjo // Apr 11, 2008 at 5:32 pm
javla rovhal
8 Godfree // Apr 11, 2008 at 5:34 pm
ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz…..
9 Godfree // Apr 11, 2008 at 5:40 pm
Ni ar bara svartsjuka for att vi kan gora skottljud i olika sprak.
(you are just jealouse because we can make bulletsound in several languages)
10 NecrisJ1MM // Apr 11, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Clever stuff
11 JakubK666 // Apr 11, 2008 at 6:44 pm
@ 9
That’s not what the online translator says -
“Yous am failing only jealousy in order to wes able gora Scotland in various crackle.”
12 Doc // Apr 11, 2008 at 7:08 pm
@ Jakub
LMFAO!
13 Shadders // Apr 11, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Contrary to original reports, the shirt does NOT prevent the wearer from having sex, I got laid in mine yesterday afternoon.
14 anjo banjo // Apr 11, 2008 at 8:27 pm
@JakubK666
well you can either trust a faulty online translator with terrible swedish grammar and bad wording or you can listen to someone that has lived in sweden fo 23 years
15 Johnz0r // Apr 11, 2008 at 10:12 pm
have u all seen the latest “artwork” im sure the games called scrabble not scramble lol
16 grigger // Apr 12, 2008 at 12:37 am
wow
both of those items are pretty worthless but i would take the letter
17 Officer Mudkip // Apr 12, 2008 at 5:16 am
@ Shadders
Erm…. Very Good?
Death toll Correction, now 701
18 zetho // Apr 12, 2008 at 6:02 am
Then i can understand their trashtalk because i live in sweden.
19 ktman // Apr 12, 2008 at 6:43 am
Pretty good!
20 balaamsafe // Apr 12, 2008 at 9:28 am
it sounds like the fight from anchor man, but with more sarcasm,
21 unohisname // Apr 12, 2008 at 11:06 am
who that guy with the xbox he looks really handsome.I am not gay or anything but I can’t help it
22 Lono // Apr 12, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Uno, you’re not gay for calling yourself handsome… ROFL!!!!
hahahahaha
23 Captain DDL // Apr 13, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Nice GTR shirt. :p
24 Tempe4mental // Apr 13, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Jeromy Adams?!?!?! Are u F****** serious? Wow, doc is soooo much cooler
25 Makelevi // May 2, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Epic. XD
The pictures of the shirt could have used more Makelevi in them, but no other complains from there lol
Leave a Comment