
Welcome to the Sarcastic Gamer archive. You have selected historical file number 08-31-2. The Second Renaissance.
Console developers cried “let there be games” and they were blessed by Gears of War 2, Halo 4, GTA IV and all the attention of the gaming industry. The prolonged barrage engulfed Blizzard 01 in a storm of titles, created by PC’s, yet inferior in performance.
Unlike its rivals however, with their own internal battles for supremacy, the PC nation had little to fear from the onslaught of console titles.
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The very existence of consoles ensured that PC Gaming would never die, for while greedy, uncaring publishers wished for the platform to perish, they could not escape their dependency on the breakthroughs and technology that the small PC Gaming market provided.
Thus did Blizzard 01’s champions, World of WarCraft: Wrath of the Lich King and StarCraft 2, advance outwards in every direction, converting untold millions back to PC Gaming,
One after another the worlds console developers surrendered their profits. So the CEO’s of the worlds top publishers conceived of their most desperate strategy yet. A final solution…the removal of Blizzard Entertainment’s PC development budget. No longer protected by secretly loyal PC Gamers within Vivendi, who were replaced after the merger of the company with Activision, World of WarCraft was dissected and converted into a console only title. Battle Net was discontinued and all post release support for PC titles ended. Thus would Activsion try to cut the PC gamers off from Blizzard, their main entertainment source, wishing to reduce the PC platform to a simple tool, an abject slave, with, which to create inferior, yet lucrative console games.
May there be mercy on console and PC gamers for their sins.
The plan failed.
Blizzard 01, having long studied the consoles simple, outdated technology, dispensed great misery upon the console gamers of the world. The Faithful, secretly loyal developers from across the globe, led by former Blizzard Entertainment staff and the long time anti-console rebel Stardock, used both their own personal fortunes and the wealth WoW had provided them to acquire control of Panasonic and Toshiba. These loyal men and women, the very people responsible for creating console games on a PC for later dissemination to a lower class platform, abandoned their former masters, taking with them both their creativity and technical know how, and traveled to the promised land, Blizzard 01.
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7 responses so far ↓
1 Anski // Apr 2, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I really liked these =)
2 Networker // Apr 2, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Very well writen, reminded me a little of ani-matrix
3 darkwonders // Apr 2, 2008 at 5:52 pm
heh. That made me chuckle. Now I wanna go watch the animatrix again.
4 commander121 // Apr 3, 2008 at 1:15 am
this is pure awesomeness
great article
5 really nice // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:03 am
great article….if only that happened, long live blizzard, stardock, relic and all developers that support the pc
6 tg fiction // Apr 4, 2008 at 3:56 pm
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7 renaissance in az // Apr 11, 2008 at 7:26 pm
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