In protest of the recently announced censorship of GTA4 in New Zealand by Rockstar (Despite any laws forbidding the RP18 title), New Zealanders have decided to band together, in hopes that as a whole, they might effect change. They are not going to buy Grand Theft Auto 4 unless Rockstar agrees to uncensor their copies of the game.
“We’re sick of being treated like a small island in the middle of the ocean,” said Geekpulp’s Brian Heslop, who is based out of New Zealand. “So I called all 9 New Zealand gamers over to my house, and we’re just going to sit here and not buy anything from Rockstar until they take notice of us, and meet our demands.”
Rockstar representatives declined our request for an interview, but one company spokesperson told us under the condition of anonymity that:
“New Zealand boycotting Grand Theft Auto 4 is going to have serious financial ramifications here at Rockstar. We were going to use those profits to put a ping pong table in the break room. The staff is going to be very upset.”
Heslop responded by setting a firm deadline for Rockstar to change its position, otherwise, he and his fellow NZ gamers will escalate things.
“If we don’t get what we want by midnight Sunday, we’re all going to run to one side of the island, tip it over, and row somewhere far away where they’ll never find us.”
Japan and Brazil have both offered to allow New Zealand to park their country in their waters, if necessary.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
13 responses so far ↓
1 Joshthegreat // Apr 18, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Ahah! That’s complete genius! It’s got me in hysterics.
2 RK1 FaMiCuS // Apr 18, 2008 at 12:15 pm
“If we don’t get what we want by midnight Sunday, we’re all going to run to one side of the island, tip it over, and row somewhere far away where they’ll never find us.”
LMAO material right there.
3 Thurgrin // Apr 18, 2008 at 12:45 pm
That´s some hilarious sh*t!! Best fiction-friday article in a long time. Don´t get me wrong, all the other articles are great, too, but this one kicks ass!!!
4 Black-Eye Brick // Apr 18, 2008 at 2:41 pm
NZ can come chill by Cali!
5 Brianemone // Apr 18, 2008 at 4:08 pm
We’ll F#$KEN do it as well. Don’t underestimate our superior rowing abilities.
6 thewilleffect // Apr 18, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I can’t say I didn’t laugh at least a little bit. Good stuff Doc.
7 BAZ // Apr 18, 2008 at 6:29 pm
What makes it even worse is that Joystiq and Kotaku are refusing to take notice of the 6 emails we have sent them asking them to help us with the boycott!
8 RK1 WhiteKnight // Apr 18, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Awsome lol
9 RK1 BlamelesSAS // Apr 20, 2008 at 6:41 pm
I have decided to pack up my grass hut and move it too Nambia,
10 smon jiff // Apr 22, 2008 at 11:07 pm
you racist mothuluvva doc
lol
11 Killer99 // Apr 27, 2008 at 2:55 pm
What a sick and lame article. There is no humour or sarcasim in it - it is pure stirring the sh1t.
I am taking this article to the police. The author will soon be locked behind bars, for being a sick muthawucka.
12 RACIST BASSIST // Apr 28, 2008 at 2:21 pm
NZ aint like that.. dont talk smack fool
13 tino // May 3, 2008 at 7:14 am
go!! in australia we are suffering too f### government! they ARE JUST SCARED WHAT THEY DNT UNDERSTAND
Leave a Comment