Front Mission for the DS is a tactics-style RPG in the form of giant-robots-blowing-the-crap-out-of-stuff. This title is also one of “those” damned games from an acclaimed Japanese clusterf… I mean series, and as usual with those types of damned games, actually describing the title requires giving a little bit of background on the clust… series first. I’ll lay out the general rundown for those who have never played a Front Mission game before addressing those who have, and I warn you that it’s a little complicated. You may need to take notes.

The first game in the Front Mission series that the North American region ever saw was Front Mission 3 for the PlayStation One (released 02-2000). FM3 was the first and ONLY part of the Front Mission series that had ever been released in the states. It was not followed-up by anything until Front Mission 4 came out on the PS2 four years later.

Now, for the fun part: Front Mission for the Nintendo DS is a remake of the game that was re-released to the Japanese PS1 market only, which itself was a remake of the very first Super Famicom Japanese-market-only game, but it’s only the third game to make it to the states. Since the first game to see stateside release was called Front Mission three, but the third is actually the first and is also the third version of the first (all 100% true), the circle is now complete. The end days are upon us, and any minute now we are going to be overrun with gigantic doomsday demons spraying explosive seed from multiple prehensile reproductive organs and it is ALL. NINTENDO’S. FREAKIN’. FAULT. (Possibly fabricated.)

The Front Mission collection could be compared easiest to the Final Fantasy series as the characters can differ from title to title but games still share similar themes and gameplay methods. The difference would really be that in the Front Mission series the human characters are about half as important as you would think since the game is made more for the warfare and less for the story. The real stars of the game are arguably the mechs, which the Front Mission series calls Wanzers for some silly reason or another (though I just call them mechs because “Wanzer” sounds too much like something I’d name my wang).

On to gameplay! There’s two different phases to gameplay for Front Mission. The first one you will experience is basically a setup period which also serves as the standard intermission between missions. During this time, you have the chance to visit a shop, change mech setups, play arena bouts for money, or do some extremely limited exploring with the odd chance of recruiting a new pilot to your team.

Unfortunately, the dated menu systems make everything in this part of the game an unintuitive pain in the ass, the worst of which is buying new parts and mech setup. The developers for the DS port did a half-ass revamp just to make the menus “sort-of-work” with the stylus, but using the stylus on the tiny menu areas is more trouble than it’s worth. What’s worse, is that if you don’t want your ass handed to you on a regular basis in the campaign missions, you’ll spend a lot of time between almost every mission, forcing your way through this accursed menu system to do arena bouts and upgrades.

Once you get to the combat though, Front Mission’s system is pretty simple. Your squad of mechs is trying to blow the crap out of the enemy squad of mechs on a grid-type map, sometimes under a time limit but mostly not, and never with any other real variation. There’s three kinds of combat you can equip your mechs for; long range, short range, and melee. Pilots can gain some useful skills via leveling up like the ability to aim at enemy parts, but even after upgraded skills this version of Front Mission has a melee system that’s about as worthless as a copy of Superman64, so combat is consequentially relegated to a choice of missiles, shields, and short range weapons.

There’s also different terrain in different places, which affects mech-maneuverability when combined with different overall mech weight and different leg parts for your mechs. Unfortunately, the few times I tried to experiment with the non-normal leg types, the benefits were very minor and there was always some kind of game-breaking flaw for whatever poor bastard got saddled onto them. This lead me to eventually give up and stick with normal legs (which worked absolutely perfectly through the ENTIRE rest of the game).

I’ve done a great deal of complaining so far, and in spite of all that, it would be unfair not to say that I somehow still enjoyed this game. The DS is the perfect platform for titles like Front Mission. I played a mission or two every night before bed, when I was tired I closed the DS clamshell and proved the sleep mode to be aptly named. As simple as the combat system is for the clearly dated title, I was never REALLY bored with anything but the arena combat. I enjoyed blowing the crap out of everything I could. I enjoyed maneuvering through the terrain or busting my brain to figure out how to beat X number of Delta-Bravos in Y number of minutes, but it was solely an “OK” experience.

Not bad, not great, but definitely OK and enjoyable, and I honestly don’t regret a dime of my purchase.

Unfortunately though, the slightly-above-mediocre experience I had is why I simply cannot recommend this game to anyone who has never played a Front Mission game before; I knew what I was getting into when I purchased this game. I had played two other Front Mission titles, and I knew this was a remake of their predecessor. For anyone who has never played anything in the series before, this game is just dated and flawed with nothing new or exciting for you look forward to. If Front Mission is unfamiliar territory then you should borrow it, or wait for a cheap used copy, if you really have a yen to try it, but otherwise it just isn’t worth it.

All that said, I want to speak specifically to anyone who has ever played a Front Mission game before.

You’ve done it before, you know what to expect from this game. You know the good, the bad, the hot, the pierced, why that scar is REALLY there, and all about the constant yapping you’re going to have to sit through to get to the goodies later. I paid full price for my copy, and I don’t regret it. Will your experience be the same? Well, it depends. You know what you like, you know the series… are you doing anything better? If so, enjoy the new Advance Wars title that just came out (which is worth every damn penny). If not, well, call the old girl up and give her a spin. You know it won’t last, but at least she knows just what you need and you can kill a few lonely nights with her without any shame.

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