Sitting in my chair, I just kept thinking: I’ve got to get the hell out of here. People around me were giving their life stories up, talking about their problems and all I kept thinking about was one thing:
PJM or Pixel Junk Monsters.
That’s how I found myself at my first meeting of PJM Anonymous.
I never considered myself an addict. When all of my friends were playing Call of Duty4 or Rainbow Six Vegas, I just wasn’t that in to it. For me PJM was it. One day a friend shared PJM with me and I just kind of liked it. The days would pass and I found myself playing more and more PJM. I just really liked the game. Sometimes I’d stay up all night on the weekends playing it. It was always, “Just one more level…”
When I was finally forced to go to PJM Anonymous, I was living on a six pack of Redbull and beef jerky and nothing else. I had stopped showering and I hadn’t left my comfy gaming chair in weeks… It wasn’t really friends, or family that convinced me to seek help, it was sitting in my own stink. Yes it got that bad.
So far, PJM Anonymous has helped me tremendously. I’ve stopped erecting turrets in the trees around my house. I’ve even sold off my gold coin collection and given away all of my turtles, even Ted. Sorry Ted. They’ve given me something called a PJM Patch that’s supposed to get me to stop playing, but all I feel when I put it on is a yearning to play Call of Duty 4 and swear like a sailor. Fu*king weird.
They’ve also started me on a 10 step program that, hopefully, will safely and effectively, ween me off PJM for good. I’m only on step three, which is apologizing to all of my friends on PSN for not responding to their messages for over a month.
The only problem? I don’t want to quit. Maybe I’m not ready to quit. Sure, I can stop putting flame throwers on my property, but that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna remove my anti-air turret from my roof. You just never know. Can’t I just be a functioning addict?
I mean, isn’t that what my PSP’s remote play is for?
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15 responses so far ↓
1 Doc // Mar 21, 2008 at 12:05 pm
You WISH your arm looked like that. What? Were there no images of Pee Wee Herman’s arm available? hahaha
2 TOO KINGS // Mar 21, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Can I be your sponsor? Wait, I don’t think I would help much. Besides, don’t they give a gold coin for a year’s worth of sobriety? Sounds like relapse time.
3 Matt 'Volkov' Schmidt, Brought to you by Bacon Salt // Mar 21, 2008 at 12:48 pm
You need to find better things to get addicted to. Like cigarettes.
4 NoneOfYourBusiness // Mar 21, 2008 at 12:50 pm
So says Mr. BaconSalt
5 Lono // Mar 21, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Little do you know doc that those are my guns in the picture.
Eat your vitamins, brother!
6 LJ // Mar 21, 2008 at 2:19 pm
This gave a good laugh.
7 Bruno // Mar 21, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Of course it’s Lono’s arm!
He burn the name of the Medicine and how many doses he needs to take, and when hes drinking while playing PJM, he will spill and fall on his burn and remind him… oh Yeah!
GOTTA TAKE MY MEDICINE!!
8 Tr0y J // Mar 21, 2008 at 6:32 pm
If after reading this article you have decided to buy the game (as I did) you can save yourself about $2 {if you live in the US} by creating an Australian PSN account, as the AU store has it for $8.45 AUD.
9 Drimden // Mar 22, 2008 at 7:44 am
Oh that is Lono’s arm. Can’t you see how he pressed it down on the scanner to make it look like the sagging skin was really muscle:P
10 Sean "rothbart" Workman // Mar 22, 2008 at 9:59 am
Remember guys, Lono’s _other_ arm is 1/10th that size… LOL!
11 Captainx // Mar 22, 2008 at 6:22 pm
bahahahhahahhahhaaahhahah
good article
12 Captainx // Mar 22, 2008 at 8:33 pm
btw at least u aint addicted to that pixel chicks crap…ewww *barf*
13 Rich // Mar 23, 2008 at 7:03 am
dammit this game looks good, but I can’t say it’s conviced me to buy a PS3 just yet. Started playing desktop tower defense though, that game is the devil
14 Codinthepocket // Mar 23, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Interesting. It COULD be Lono as a kid.
15 Sean "rothbart" Workman // Mar 23, 2008 at 9:47 pm
@Rich: Do you _expect_ a $10 game to convince you to buy a $399 system?
Just curious…
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