It’s Monday, again, and you only get one chance to start the week off the right way. No, not coffee and an Egg McMuffin. In a gamer’s world, there’s nothing better than looking at the games coming out this week.

Here are your titles for this week, with just a pinch of sarcasm.

3/24 Command & Conquer 3: Kane’s Wrath (PC) – You think Kane’s so pissed because he’s bald? Don’t tell him about Hair Club for Men because I love these games… 3/24 Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (PSP) – Nothing like having a fantasy in your hands.
3/24 Dreamfall: Game of the Year Edition (X360) – I know I used to hate falling in my dreams, it never ended.
3/24 M&M’s Kart Racing (DS) – Your cart will melt in you mouth, not in your hands.
3/24 Tales of Pirates (PC) – Swords, scurvy and ugly, diseased women? Sign me up!
3/25 Australia Zoo Quest (PC) – Sounds fascinating.
3/25 Backyard Baseball ‘09 (DS) – Why play like a pro, when you can play like an 8 year old?
3/25 Dark Sector (X360 & PS3) – Be sure to bring a flashlight.
3/25 Harvest Moon DS Cute (DS) – Is it just me or do most DS games sound lame?
3/25 Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 3 (PS2) – To be followed by Naruto: Super Mega Ultra Extreme Ninja.
3/25 Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword (DS) – Two ninja games in one week, no way!
3/25 Obscure: The Aftermath (PS2, PC & Wii) – This one seems a little hazy.
3/25 Octomania (Wii) – Beware the eight legged creatures with beaks… on land… eh it’s a reach. I’m sure there will be waggling and mini games…

3/25 Opoona (Wii) – Create a new life, on a new planet, and then it turns into The Sims.
3/25 Sword of the Stars Collector’s Edition (PC) – I love it when they try to resell you a game you already have.
3/25 Universe at War: Earth Assault (X360) – If the entire universe is fighting, does that mean there are no hippies?
3/25 Viking: Battle for Asgard (PS3 & 360) – Do you also get to rape and pillage the English coast? If not, count me out.
3/25 Warriors Orochi (PC & PSP) – Don’t forget to use the crane technique, Daniel-san.
3/28 Belief & Betrayal (PC) – The Divinci Code, but not as deep and no Tom Hanks. When I write it like that, it actually sounds better.

3/28 King of Clubs (Wii) – Finally a game about P Diddy, or whatever he calls himself these days, or is this game about a deck of cards?

3/28 Last Of The Patriots 2 (PC) – Hopefully not as long as Last of The Mohicans.
3/28 Panzer Command: Kharkov (PC) – Remember, it’s cold in Russia.
3/28 Powershot Pinball Constructor (DS) – Yay Pinball!
3/28 Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure (PS2) – Can’t you just watch a PBS special about this?

Hopefully, one of these titles catch your eye. If not, next week is the big week of the month for releases. What are they? That would be telling. Check back next Monday for the new release goodness!

Enjoy your week and GAME ON!

Source Gamespy

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