A Guitar Hero Competition in Fresno, California was a scene of horror today as the first case of a gamer enhanced by steroids was discovered. The scandal that rocked major league baseball has made its way into the gaming world. It’s a dark day in the history of gaming.
In the semifinals, Hans Gruber, 38 was facing off against Dexter Pinderhues,17 on Guitar Hero II. Both were playing Rage Against the Machine’s, Killing in the Name. Hans lost by a few points and became upset. He began screaming at the other contestants and judges.
He Smashed his guitar the ground, splintering it. Then, he then grabbed Dexter’s guitar and broke it over the poor boy’s skull. Next, he ripped the LCD off the wall and slammed it on to the ground.
The 6′1, 250lb Gruber had to be restrained by 7 security guards and tazed three times before he could be subdued.
One of the guards was willing to talk to Sarcastic Gamer.
“I thought that big f***er was going to kill us.”
At the Fresno police department, Gruber made a public apology. He told the police he was a steroid user. He wrote in his confession that he had been using steroids for the past two years. His reason? He wanted to be a better Guitar Hero II player.
See the shocking quote, on the next page!
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Geezoman dude! that guy looks like a bunch of caucasian balloons put together with a head poking out!
hey dave thats a nice power thirst picture there. whats your favorite? brown eye or baby?
This made me LOL
wait, hans?
i thought i killed him…
nice die hard reference “hans gruber”
This has easily got to be the most insane thing I’ve ever read. It’s also proof positive that even in an area of life I thought reasonably safe from the howling fratboy dickhole portion of the popularity, you can never quite escape the alpha male authority complex.
Seriously though, steroids for guitar hero? It’s a game. You win some, you lose some, and if you can’t handle losing, don’t become a professional gamer. You will chalk up losses!
See a full reaction to this story at
http://kalmartheband.blogspot.com
Jools, you cannot be serious. I realized it was a fake from the moment the name Hans Gruber was used. He was the bad guy from the first Die Hard movie. If you really think this is real, you have got to be the most gullible person on this planet.