A whimsical Sarcastic Gamer look at today’s gaming headlines…
The Make Better Use Of Your Time News: Capcom advises making a sandwich while DMC4 installs
The Brighter Side: Your ass is fat enough without the sandwich, how about going for a short jog lardo?
The One Area They Need To Work On News: EA needs to do better on the Wii
The Brighter Side: They must be doing well on the other two platforms this generation!
The Second Area They Need To Work On News: EA needs to do better on the PS3
The Brighter Side: Oh… yeah… um, I guess they must be doing well on that other platform this generation… you know. The one Peter Moore use to run. Inside mole confirmed!
The Nobody Everybody Saw It Coming News: Twisted Metal PS3 Bound
The Brighter Side: You no longer have to fret about your 40GB PS3 not being able to play the new PS2 Twisted Metal game, you’re getting your own… in probably 18 months!
More gaming headlines coming up…
The I Wish I Could Reuse The “Everybody Saw It Coming” Headline Again News: HD-DVD add-on for Xbox 360 price-dropped again
The Brighter Side: The time is nearing to buy one of these before the “failed tech collectors” start driving the prices back up on ebay!
The Does Folding Ever End? News: One million people folding@home with their PS3
The Brighter Side: Folding@home’s secret agenda of bringing Xbox Live to its knees is still safe!
The Justification For Releasing Cheaper Line Of Older Games News: Japan Getting “Best” Series Of Discounted Games Rereleased
The Brighter Side: At least they’re not trying to past them off as “Greatest Hits”. “Best” is a relative term of quality. In other words, it’s best to get ghonorrhea over herpes if you’re going to get one or the other. That kind of best.
The Peter Moore Syndrome News: Madden Producer Quits EA
The Brighter Side: If your boss quits and leaves his last job “over family reasons” when things weren’t going well, what kind of message does that send to the team? I know!!! I know!!! Pick me, pick me!!!
The Origin Of The Name Hot Pants News: PSP Sets Fire To Schoolboy’s Pants
The Brighter Side: “American Gladiators: Crush Exposed” must’ve been released on UMD!
The No Plans To Title News Stories News: Silver PS3 Released in Japan. SCEA Have “No Plans”
The Brighter Side: We learned with the first price drop “no plans” fiasco that “no plans” could technically mean the messenger delivering said plans is a mere six feet away, walking towards them. Clearly you can see that as of now they have “no plans” for whatever it is you’re asking about.
The Silver Wonder Down Under News: New PS3 Bundle Coming To Australia
The Brighter Side: They finally found a use for NBA 08 and all those extra SIXAXIS controllers sitting in the warehouse. Toss ‘em in the Aussie bundle, what do they know about quality? They are kinda bummed they didn’t get the silver boomerang controller though.
The Jenny Craig Technology News: Cell down to 45nm, PS3 production costs to slim too
The Brighter Side: This could definitely lead to a cheaper, slimmer PS3 in the future. A future that I hope incorporates dozens of top notch games. I wonder when that works into their schedule?
The Brainwashed Into Thinking the Wii Is Cheap News: React Recharge Dock powers 4 Wiimotes for $50
The Brighter Side: This $50 accessory can charge your four $40 controllers for your $250 system. It’s a good thing the four $20 nunchucks don’t have batteries. Holy crap! That’s $630 in casual gamer gear!!! At least you get Wii Sports for free.
The Drop The Arcade SKU Already Microsoft, News: Burnout Paradise 360 Requires HDD For Online Play
The Brighter Side: Despite its existence, I’m fairly certain nobody on the planet has a 360 without a HDD. Drop that SKU and allow devs to count on a hard drive Microsoft!
The What’s That Smell? News: Old Spice Experience Challenge Returns… Sort Of
The Brighter Side: There’s been quite a bit of stink on Xbox Live lately, it could use some deodorant.
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6 responses so far ↓
1 commander121 // Feb 7, 2008 at 11:46 pm
One of those comments hits close to home.
Dont become one of those ignorant people rothbart, i like your articles but one of your comments is very ignorant
2 smon jiff // Feb 8, 2008 at 12:54 am
not the australian coment is it?…..
3 commander121 // Feb 8, 2008 at 2:08 am
yeah thats it.
Though i would have thought that rothbart knew there are some australian fans of this site. so you would think he might think before throwing crap our way.
4 NecrisJ1MM // Feb 8, 2008 at 3:15 am
Lighten up. This is all in good humor.
5 Sean "rothbart" Workman // Feb 8, 2008 at 11:57 am
@commander121: Was it the “quality” or “boomerang” part? I would’ve honestly poked fun of _any_ demographic with the “quality” part and frankly, the boomerang thing fits… boomerangs are FROM Australia aren’t they?
I found it hilarious that a new bundle was being shipped with two SIXAXIS controllers when: A) They’re being replaced by DualShock 3’s imminently, B) The bundle ships with two very excellent single player games, and C) The one multiplayer game it comes with arguably sucks. Australians weren’t the butt of the joke, the bundle was.
Just be glad I didn’t go the “criminal colony” route… j/k
I don’t spew hate, so if you ever read anything like that where you consider it borderline offensive, unless you are Microsoft incarnate, you’re safe to assume I meant no ill-will.
On a bizarre sidenote, the captcha I have to type to post this is “Be Manhole”. I’m not comfortable with that at all… but seeing as I couldn’t even READ the first one and got this one as a replacement, I’m afraid to ask for a different one for fear it’ll be even WORSE!
6 commander121 // Feb 8, 2008 at 11:22 pm
@Sean “rothbart” Workman it just sounded that you were saying that australians do not know anything of qaulity and with the boomerang only the aboriginal tribes in australia know how to use them and make them.
it just sounded like you where sterotyping the whole population of australia
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