As Toshiba announced their withdrawal from the HiDef wars, gamers have been watching Microsoft with great anticipation. The death of HD-DVD at the hands of Sony’s Blu-ray technology has left a gaping hole in the peripheral capabilities of the leading next-gen console. While many insiders have hinted at the unavoidable move to Blu-ray for the Xbox 360, the MS faithful have held on to the hope that the gaming giant had another trick up their sleeve. Today, at a press conference in Redmond, they got the news they were hoping for. Kind of. All the details, after the jump.
Not willing to concede defeat, but faced with the death of their adopted HD vehicle, Microsoft has decided to go old-school, rather than put a dime into the pockets of Sony and its Blu-ray partners. This afternoon they unveiled the HD-Cassette tape, and a low-cost peripheral cassette deck, for the Xbox 360.
Microsoft’s technology spokesperson, Walt Oppah spoke with us briefly, via telephone, earlier today.
“With read speeds approaching 1/100th-x and the ability to store more than 10 minutes of a Hi-Def movie on a single cassette, we think gamers will eventually come to appreciate this low-cost alternative to Sony’s expensive Blu-ray line, where movies can cost upwards of 35 dollars.”
Microsoft’s devoted fans are already scurrying to their nearest Best Buy and CompUSA outlets to preorder the launch titles, which include the 32-tape collectors edition of Lawrence of Arabia, U2’s 40-tape “Live in Bucharest” concert film, and the ever-popular 800-tape Kevin Costner film library, including JFK, Dances with Wolves, and Waterworld.
“Once you get past the load time, and the beeping sound it makes while its reading the cassette, and having to get up every 5 minutes to flip the cassette, it’s really a tolerable experience,” said gaming enthusiast Chris Houston. “It’s better than having to break down and buy a PS3, that’s for sure.”
HD-Cassettes will retail for just under 20 dollars, while the player will sell for around 185 dollars.
If you enjoyed this parody, you might also enjoy our Sarcastic Gamer Podcast. It’s always packed with interesting topics, funny parodies, and ridiculous banter. All tied up neatly in a 30 minute package. CLICK HERE for the latest episode.
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24 responses so far ↓
1 SpiralGray // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Shouldn’t you have saved this for Friday?
2 Maul // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm
They would’ve forgotten by then.
Docs not as young as he used to be.
3 Tenudin // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:14 pm
He’s probably hoping someone takes it seriously so people stop reminding him of the Wal-Mart thing.
4 Doc // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:15 pm
@ all. bite me.
5 Tenudin // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:18 pm
High definition ANALOG storage device. Yeah, that’s not contradictory….
6 Minbad // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Yea, plus I thought SG were all 360 fanboys!!! :p
7 Alecsander_C // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:22 pm
@ Doc:
no way, you got railed by the wal mart covering games
you even fooled me, I believed you
so no, you Sir deserve this
8 Doc // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:22 pm
not fanboys… we’re fan-men.
j/k
9 ajnokia // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Does this mean we’re going to have fake news every day of the week now? I kind of like it just being Fiction Friday and the rest of the time I read here I get normal/real new but in a sarcastic way
10 Doc // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:37 pm
what can i say… its a hot story and it was a lot more fun to write about this way. Just keeping you fools on your toes
11 Lono // Feb 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm
we’ve had parodies during the week many times, volkov does them all the time…
12 SarcasticSparki // Feb 25, 2008 at 4:09 pm
I’m gonna wait for the Sony’s bluefilm cassette.. I think it’s called the Walkman.
Seriously, you could have found stock photo of a cassette player that was new-ish when the pic was taken.
13 Yung Guy // Feb 25, 2008 at 4:09 pm
What’s a cassette? I was born in 2003 (I’m sort of the resident boy genius around my area), so I only know about the recent stuff. Fill me in.
14 L. Vang // Feb 25, 2008 at 4:10 pm
*Sigh* A cute attempt at humor, but sadly devoid of any real meat.
Better luck next time.
15 Doc // Feb 25, 2008 at 4:17 pm
@SarcasticSparki
No appreciation for the Atari 1010 cassette drive? Man.
16 Sean "rothbart" Workman // Feb 25, 2008 at 4:27 pm
/me wonders where my “on topic” Microsoft killing off the HD-DVD add-on related Fiction Friday post went… I’ll stand by Doc on a Monday writing fake news…
17 NoneOfYourBusiness // Feb 25, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Im half expecting you guys post a SSBB delay article in the most serious tone as possible….that would ruffle a few feathers.
18 Sean "rothbart" Workman // Feb 25, 2008 at 6:48 pm
If you live in Europe, it _would_ be serious…
19 Yoooooouuuuuuuu // Feb 25, 2008 at 8:09 pm
@ Lono: Whatchu talkin bout? Volkov IS a parody. Or at least a laughing stock.=P
20 The Ploogle // Feb 25, 2008 at 8:40 pm
No one would believe a SSBB delay article…one has only to go to http://www.smashdojo.com to see that there’s no delay.
21 DJ Res // Feb 25, 2008 at 10:52 pm
HA HA…I still have my ‘tape deck’ from my Commodore Vic 20…Think it’s compatible? I LOVE IT!!!
22 Maul // Feb 26, 2008 at 12:32 am
@ ploogle
Quitw the opposite has happened, europe has been told it will receive brawl in may. However, no specifics yet.
23 Manuva // Feb 26, 2008 at 10:55 am
@ rothbart
Don’t make the SSBB release date worse than it is or I’m gonna flip my lid!
24 thesenderofeight // Feb 26, 2008 at 2:47 pm
ah come on nintedno’s had it easy they deserve a few more delays
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