SOMEONE’S BASEMENT - Candy bar guru and internet famous game journalist, Jeff Gerstmann, revealed an ambitious career-revitalizing plan this morning. Sadly, nobody seems to give a damn what he thinks, or if he does have a podcast that’s topping the iTunes charts. While several journalists attended the event, none of them took notes, and not a soul could remember what the hell Gerstmann had said.
“I think he mentioned something about a podcast where they reviewed food or something, but I tuned out after the first few seconds,” said one reporter who wishes to remain anonymous. “It kind of reminds me of the reviews he did back at Gamespot. Lots of words, little meaning.”
Gerstmann sprang to fame late last year, when Gamespot got sick of his shit and fired his ass for doing lines of Fun Dip and Swiss Cake Rolls while at work, attracting thousands of piss ants. In the backlash that followed, mindless gamers began protests that, in the end, boosted Gamespot’s traffic by more than 200%.
We were able to reach Gerstmann for comment in his parents’ basement, earlier today, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember anything the man talked about. But I did leave with a better appreciation for the McRib.
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16 responses so far ↓
1 Lono // Feb 29, 2008 at 11:40 am
he’s gonna be selling HD-Dvd’s with Phil Harrison real soon… bet on it.
2 Chuck Norris // Feb 29, 2008 at 11:46 am
Seriously I just read this and I don’t have a clue what it was about.
3 Doc // Feb 29, 2008 at 11:47 am
@chuck norris
babaaaahhahaha
4 ecribit // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm
phil harrison and jeff are gonna team up with EA and make a console!!! it’s all a conspiracy.
5 Saccia // Feb 29, 2008 at 3:58 pm
@ecribit, what you don’t know is they have already teamed up and been working together for some time. They’re working on a top secret console called The Phantom. I hear its gonna STOMP all of today’s consoles including the Wii.
6 IncredibleBulk92 // Feb 29, 2008 at 5:10 pm
“or if he does have a podcast that?s topping the iTunes charts”
Haha you jealous number 15?
7 refinedsugar // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I love how it’s so popular and in vogue to pile on Gerstmann now. Who gave you front row tickets to the Playa Haters Ball, Lono?
8 Lono // Mar 1, 2008 at 3:41 am
@refinedsugar: What the hell are you talking about? It’s Doc’s article. Reading comprehension FTW!!!
9 number15 // Mar 1, 2008 at 5:27 am
Gerstmann alone > whole sarcasticgamer crew o/ And Doc, stop writing articles.. Let Lono do it. U_U
10 Lono // Mar 1, 2008 at 4:28 pm
@number15 - when u say greater than all of us, you meant in terms of gerth? right?
11 Irapotato // Mar 1, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Woah, Doc. Watch the language. As Space Quest says, “Would you kiss your mother with a mouth like that?” (That’s what happened if you typed in s***f***s***f***).
12 number15 // Mar 2, 2008 at 4:31 am
@Lono, in terms of greatness. B) But yeah, ofc I was just joking around. You guys are awesome, but so is Gerstmann.
13 Doc // Mar 2, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Its Friday dude… or at least it was Friday. It’s a joke…
14 refinedsugar // Mar 3, 2008 at 6:59 pm
I referring to the first comment Lono, from you, you wrote the first comment. Why would I type anything out to Doc when I know I won’t get a reply. With you I will, lol.
15 Nascar Sucks // Mar 4, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Well, the truth is Gersmann does trump the entire staff here, he’s just funnier.
16 Captain DDL // Mar 7, 2008 at 4:15 pm
He already has a website set up…apparently it’s gonna be a review-heavy gaming site.
http://www.giantbomb.com/
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