…every male would have the fashion sense of a wealthy Japanese woman.
…every female would have the fashion sense of a wealthy Japanese whore.
…getting money from the bank would require fighting a 20-foot tall fire-breathing teller (the drive thru would be exponentially more popular)
…acing a test would earn you a grade of Smokin’ Sick Style.
…finding a place to sit would be a bitch - all of the chairs would be smashed for red orbs.
…you couldn’t leave a room unless you killed everyone inside of it.
…you’d live most of life hanging by an inch of health, except there are NO damn checkpoints.
…demon spawns would be the least of your worries. Running into walls from poor camera angles would likely cause a broken-nose epidemic.
…and dining would be extrodinarly difficult. It’s much harder to eat with a six foot solid steel fork and knife, suspended in mid-air battle with your pork tenderloin.
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14 responses so far ↓
1 Artemas // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Little bored are you?
Some of it was pretty good though.
2 Matt "Volkov" Schmidt // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:21 pm
It took an extreme amount of willpower to get past writing four of these things. I don’t even like the game.
3 Frantik // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:39 pm
It took me 9 levels to realize that DMC4 sucks. I even had a bad feeling about this game when hearing “Slam Dunk!” in the demo.
Looks like Ninja Gaiden 2 will bury this game.
4 Cube // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:44 pm
And 80 year old gramas will be bad ass like trinity from the matrix and she will kick ass while eating pizza slow motion and dodge bullets.
5 Artemas // Feb 22, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I rather enjoyed this game, but yes it was for from great. Although it does suck to have to write on something you don’t like.
6 clarky456 // Feb 22, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Reading that made me LOL and poo my pants…em…but mostley LOL <__>
7 insert user name // Feb 22, 2008 at 5:37 pm
This would be awesome.
8 balaamsafe // Feb 23, 2008 at 5:28 am
i actualy like DMC 4
at least life isn’t more like like pokemon, then i’d have to go to the gym
9 balaamsafe // Feb 23, 2008 at 5:31 am
and live with my mum
and stay out of the tall grass
10 ZayneAshe // Feb 23, 2008 at 7:44 am
While I initially enjoyed the game, for it’s style battles mostly, the game failed horribly when CAPCOM decided that it would be cool to only create a scant few locations, make you spend half the game repeating what you already did (just in reverse order), and copy and pasted the first fight from God of War II and called it a final boss. Talk about truly milking the cash cow …
and I really liked Nero too
11 Normansanzo // Feb 23, 2008 at 8:31 am
I got DMC4 and I love playing… but what you say is true , I can’t stop laughing XD
12 Yoooooouuuuuuuu // Feb 23, 2008 at 11:30 am
But balaamsafe, then you can you can leave home for years and not have anyone worried about you and you can fight guys in rediculously coordinated outfits and have friends that stalk you for the rest of your life!
13 Rico // Feb 24, 2008 at 10:03 am
No. Life should be like Advance Wars. I have always wanted to block an enemy plane with an infantry or sub unit. Or if you’re a CO, you’ll need to pay 500 G to walk with your own infantry unit. How about showing our good friend Eagle how good we are in a battle? I mean only 10000 friendly soldiers will die. At least he will see how good we are.
14 gametaku // Mar 3, 2008 at 1:30 am
This is extremely funny. I don’t have 4, but I’ve played the first 3 and this is all so true. That’s how life would be like. You forgot that women would all enter never ending Devil Trigger states once a month.
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