With a growing number of people able to play Crysis, Crytek and EA have announced that they have begun working on a sequel. It’s scheduled to be released in time for Christmas 2008, which probably means Spring 2009. It’s well worth the wait, no matter how long it is.

Find out why, after the jump!

Crytek has decided to take a bit of a different path with the sequel.  Crysis 2 does not involve fighting your way into a hostile country, to take on a alien invasion. In the follow up installment, the game will try to maintain careers of a wacky celebrities. You will play as a super high rolling Hollywood agent, charged with keeping a celebs career afloat while they try to destroy it. You’ll have to keep them making movies and/or music.

Sounds easy, it’s not.

There are three levels of difficulty:

Lindsay Lohan – She has problem partying a little too hard. She also carries “controlled” substances while driving under the influence and wrecks her car constantly.  Sometimes she’ll wreck other people’s cars, depends on the level. Keep her out of jail, get her into rehab and keep her making crappy movies. Heck, do a good enough job, you’ll probably get in her pants.  Who am I kidding, you’ll be in her pants even if you do a crap job.

Britney Spears- Going from teen queen to mother of two has been tough for Ms. Spears. She also parties a little too hard. It also doesn’t help that she’s a little off her rocker. Keep her stocked with prescription amphetamines and laxatives to keep her skinny.  Just try to keep her psychiatric trips to a minimum, unless Entertainment Tonight is available to cover it! Also try to keep any sex tapes of her off the Internet. Good luck!

Tom Cruise- This level is not for the faint of heart. Tom Cruise has gone from an A-list celebrity to a f***ing lunatic. You’ll attempt to try and down play his batsh*t crazy Scientology recruitment videos and his other outbursts. Do your best to get him back to the Top Gun days. Failure is a certainty on this hardest of hard levels.

When asked why Crytek chose to abandon the chemistry that had made the first Crysis so popular, representative Gary Glen had this to say.

“We were sitting around trying to think up the next installment when we took a break to watch TV. We caught the news and Entertainment Tonight, both were heavily saturated by celebrity news. Then we figured out that people weren’t as interested in alien invasions as they were the crazy lives that celebrities lead and their crazy alien religions.”

A random guy on the street had this to say about the sequel.

“Who gives a flying f*** about that?”

While we at Sarcastic Gamer agree with the guy on the street, it’s Crytek’s money, so we have to go with it. I guess they decided that losing money was more important than earning it.

I am curious about the Lyndsay Lohan level, though. Is there any tread left or is it like throwing a hot dog down  a hallway?

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