Source: Common MFing Sense 

Not much shocks me anymore. I’ve been around enough crazy places and done my share of questionable things during the twenty six years I’ve had on this Earth that catching me with my jaw dropped and eyes wide, is next to impossible. Well, today I got blindsided.

On the hunt, to exchange my current craptacular secondary job with a less feces riddled one; I ventured into my local EB Games (Gamestop) to see about applying for the store manager position.

While waiting for the store clerk, who showed all the tragic signs of being a poetry major (i.e. no actual video game knowledge) to get me the appropriate forms to fill out, two middle aged parents entered the store. They immediately rushed to the counter to demand blood! Well maybe not blood, but they were obviously pissed off about something.

Find out what 2008′s dumbest parents of the year were pissed off about after the jump!
Turns out, they had just purchased Gears Of War for their fifteen year old son the week before. They began to scream about how violent it was and how video games are sick and blah blah blah.

First off, your just getting your son GoW now? Someone give these two the delayed parental love award. Second, it’s called Gears of WAR, what the hell did they expect? Fluffy bunnies throwing easter eggs at each other? Anyway, through all of the shrill screaming, it was revealed that this fifteen year old’s mom actually came into the store to buy it with him. I smell a parent of the year award coming….

So, the title was apparently confusing to them, ok, that makes no sense, but what about the rating on the freaking front cover?! How can you even be a parent today and not even attempt to check out what your kids are spending their time on IN DETAIL? Especially when you are the one paying for it and right beside them when it happens?!

What was their response to that very question? We don’t understand it. Seriously, they did not understand it. The big freaking M17+ on the front of the box must have thrown them. Their eyesight must also be terrible because the HUGE freaking chart on the store wall that lists all the ESRB ratings also failed to inform them of the fact Lil’Timmy was going to be playing a violent game.

What the hell? Are people really that dumb? That was rhetorical. Stop answering. Now.

We have had video game ratings on the front of our box’s for years now, almost the entire time Lil’Timmy has been alive! Your telling me that things as self-explanatory as T for Teen and E for Everyone are too complex for the average parent? I’ve heard of this phenomenon, but had never seen it with my own eyes. I guess I was lucky to have a mother with more than a grade 8 education. Speaking of which, love ya Mom, I know you’re reading this.

Needless to say Mr.Poetry Major EB clerk was so stunned that he almost did not know what to say. He offered to exchange the game for an equally priced title, but the father would have none of that. A heartfelt apology and offer to give their son a less violent game would not cut it. They screamed lawsuit and a whole bunch of other nonsense at the poor guy that I seriously thought he would cry more than the last time he read a Hilaire Belloc poem (read a book!).

At this point I actually laughed. Not a soft, behind my hand chuckle; but rather a massive belly powered guffaw at their stupidity. I laughed so hard they even stopped yelling and just stared at me incredulously. I looked the father straight in the eye and said “Seriously my friend, do you really think you will achieve any satisfaction from this? The warning on the front is blatantly obvious. The game is called Gears of War and there is a huge chart right behind you explaining the ratings system. Your wife even came with him to the store to buy him a game he would not even be allowed to buy without a parent. Seriously, and I mean no disrespect (though I really did), but think about what you’re saying.”

That’s it. The father looked rather ashamed at this point and turned to leave, though his wife seemed ready to launch into another tirade. A firm tug on her arm and a stern look from Dad ended that and they promptly left the store. I looked at the EB clerk and said “So how about that application form?”

Wouldn’t you know it, his response was “Sorry, I just checked, and it seems we have already filled the position. I really should take down that sign.”

I just wish karma paid weekly…

ARGGGGGGGGGG!