It’s time for another look at “The Bright Side” of recent gaming industry news. With CES going on right now, and all the hullabaloo going on before that, we’ve got plenty of things to touch on.

Knee-jerk Reaction News: Bill Gates’ CES Keynote Doesn’t Mention Xbox 360 Ultimate Does Include Slash
The Bright Side: Grey’s Anatomy in HD. Oh, sorry, this is supposed to be a bright side. How about Desperate Houswives? No? Ok, I got nothin.

Head-scratching News: Sony Announces Skype Functionality (But Only for PSP Slim)
The Bright Side: Unlike all those N-Gage users looking like idiots talking into a taco, PSP users will look much more civilized… talking into an ice cream sandwich!

On a serious note, if I ever see someone at Starbucks podcasting from their PSP, I’m just gonna punch them in their Decaf-double-shot-skim-milk-latte drinking face (making sure to perfectly align it so their PSP leaves a nicely defined PSP imprint around their soul-patch)

Bigger-is-better News: Sony Announced Gargantuan 16GB Memory Stick Pro Duo MagicGate Mark2
The Bright Side: Sony is in the Guinness Book of World Records again for the largest product name to product size ratio in consumer electronics produced by a third ranking Japanese video game manufacturer in 2008 during the month of January. Oh and you can store a ton of porn in 16 Gb. Not that I would know, I just read about it on the internet. Maybe it was on MajorNelson.com? Kidding!

Read on to see The Bright Side of more current gaming headlines…

Network Resources As An Excuse For Greed News: Microsoft Announces 10M Gold Subscribers
The Bright Side: 500,000,000 Dollars to fix the problems. NOW FIX THE PROBLEMS DAMNIT!

Who Is That And Why Should I Care News: British Telecom Announced As First Xbox 360 IPTV Partner
The Bright Side: Sweet. Benny Hill Reruns all day long. In HD. Wait, it’s not coming to the US? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Carefully Timed Kick While They’re Down News: Sony Shows Off Two BD-Live (Profile 2.0) Enabled Players At CES
The Bright Side: By the time they kill off HD-DVD, they should finally be able to feature match them… and this might matter to someone that knows what the hell to use BD-Live for.
Rumored Rumor News: Destructoid Says EGM’s Quarterman Reports Rumor of Xbox 720 & First Party Sequel In The Works
The Bright Side: The Playstation 9 is now one day closer! And you know, 9 is bigger than 7… I’m just sayin’… and maybe by the time it comes out, Final Fantasy XIII will be ready?

Freedom Is Good News: Crystal Dynamics Totally Wants To Marry PSN, Leaves XBLM At The Altar
The Bright Side: XBLM was fat and lazy anyway (and much like his cousin Xbox Live, had problems “staying up” over the holidays).

It’s Always Good To Have A Goal News: Sony Aims For Profit In Fiscal 2008
The Bright Side: One step further away from all of those pesky Dreamcast jokes. (Current_year+1) is the year of the PS3!

Who Woulda Thunk It News: Naughty Dog Confirms Uncharted Sequel In The Works
The Bright Side: Maybe this one will address the few things that kept the first one from being the truly smash hit it almost was and the Xbots will stop calling it “Gears of War in the Jungle. ” Although… a gun with a chainsaw might not be a bad addition to the game….

Exactly What The World Needs News: DS Dragon’s Lair Publisher Now Looking To Do PSP Port
The Bright Side: Semi-responsive cartoon quasi-games FTW!!! The missing link to the previous dozen versions of Dragon’s Lair was the inability to take the frustrating gameplay on the go.

Almost Like Bit Torrent But With Fees And Delays News: Disney/ABC Television Shows Coming To Xbox Live Video Marketplace
The Bright Side: Watching TV shows and movies on your game consoles without inserting discs now has a legitimate cover story when company’s over. “Oh yeah… I *ahem* bought those… online…”

What Money Can Buy News: Bill Gates Knows Celebrities, Retires
The Bright Side: Finally, somewhere to spend those billions…. What? You thought they hung out with him cause he’s a “cool” guy?

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