I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, toy trains were my plastic bubble of happiness. They sheltered me from the piercing screams of my hooker mom as she informed my quadriplegic dad that he’s three months late on his child support payments. My soothing train whistle drowned out the sound of mom walking into a door, or at least that’s what dad said afterwards.
Yup, I was nothing but a conductor wandering the rails towards future psychological pain. I made it through high school by secretly wearing my Thomas the Tank Engine underwear. After the other kids saw it in the locker room, I had my…… first mental breakdown as they stomped and spit on me, threatening to kick my ‘caboose.’
The therapists said I could live a normal life, just as long as complex railroad simulators keep being made to relief emotional stress.
Which is why Rail Simulator will be my choice for 2008 Game of the Year. Getting lost in a time of simpler family values seems like heaven for me, and it gives me a chance to really relive my childhood memories. There’s nothing like a good cry after driving on a fixed path through Europe for 45 minutes. Don’t fret, you’ve got downtime when waiting for your steam brakes to fill.
Buy Rail Simulator later this year, folks, and hopefully there will finally be someone to play with over the internet.
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5 responses so far ↓
1 Artemas // Jan 15, 2008 at 11:12 am
Would love too. Sadly Im short on cash.
2 Keith K // Jan 15, 2008 at 11:13 am
Rail Simulator isnt a train game… Its something else entirely.
It comes with a new, innovative peripheral; a short drinking straw taped to the package.
3 Artemas // Jan 15, 2008 at 11:14 am
opps ignore my post. I was posting to something else and did not notice the page change.
4 Alecsander_C // Jan 15, 2008 at 1:49 pm
X_x huh, cute story
5 NecrisJ1MM // Jan 15, 2008 at 6:49 pm
My nephew watches that train’s show on video and even has the toys… honestly that train and his friends creep me out…
Fiddle sticks!
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