Washington D.C. – On of the largest lobbying groups in the country, the AARP or the American Association of Retired Persons officially recognized and endorsed its first video game today in a pre-nap press conference.
Find out what these old farts have to say about Solid Snake, after the jump!
AARP Spokesperson Gladys Weathers, “For far too long, video game heros were young and virile. We support Solid Snake in his efforts to portray octogenarians in a positive light!”
Afterward, AARP member Harold Hackensitein had this to say, “Why can’t 80 year olds save the world anymore? All these damn kids… running around, trampling my lawn….. eh, what was the question?” 
While Solid Snake’s age has not been officially released, previews of the game reveal that Snake isn’t looking like his usual, spry self.
Mertle Reynolds, President of the Board for Cook’s Pleasant Valley Retirement Home weighed in said, “I’m 77 years old, I haven’t seen a solid snake since the Regan Administration!”
The sad truth remains, because it’s taking so long for this game to come out, most of these fine retirees may not be around to play it.
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lol….thats so wrong