The future hero of mankind is in some hot water. Sarcastic Gamer News has learned through a freedom of information request that the crew of the Normandy have banned together and are suing Commander Shepard. This scandal has rocked the very pillars of the Galactic Counsel. The allegation’s are almost too shocking to believe.

Gasp after the jump.

The all female plaintiffs from the crew of the Normandy are suing Cmdr. Shepard for sexual harassment. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, as the spokesperson for the group, had this to say:

“He issues my armor, and it will always be too small. Then he’s always hitting on me in the cargo hold, trying to get personal and making rude gestures. There were even a couple of times when he tried to share sleep chambers with me. I should have know there was a problem when during a mission he made a five hour detour to the Blue Alien strip club.”

Williams later told Sarcastic Gamer that Cmdr. Shepard would always disable with the men’s shower, so that the women’s shower would be co-ed.

“He would take two hour showers. Believe me, it wasn’t that impressive when he went in. When he was all pruney, it was even more laughable. The worst part was the never ending personal questions. How do I feel about this, how do I feel about that. It’s like he’s a woman, or something.”

Tali’Zorah nar Rayya, another member of the team, shared her story.

“He saved my life on the Citadel and he seemed like a good guy. Then after defeating this blue women, I can’t remember her name, he starting dry humping her body and asking her if she liked it. After that I became a little worried. While I was in the engine room of the Normandy one day he started hitting on me. I don’t think that his hands constantly brushing my netherregions was a coincidence! He kept repeating that he was down with the intergalactic swirl.”

Cmdr. Shepard was invited to share his side of the story, but he never showed up. There are reports that he has been stuck on an elevator for the last 3 days.

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