Vampires tried to kill me!

November 26th, 2007 · 2 Comments

vampire

Well, I had yet another trip to the hospital this past week. My heart had some issues it wanted to discuss with me, and it decided the best way to get my attention was to make me blackout. This was quickly followed by my girlfriend commanding me to seek medical attention, despite my desire to play just one more level of Crysis.

Off to the hospital I went, or as I call it; Castlevania. Once in the aforementioned castle of doom, I was quickly attacked by legions of vampires (nurses) who began draining me of blood. Days past, and I grew weaker and weaker. Scared senseless, with no way to escape, I turned to the only weapon at my disposal: the PSP Talisman.

Hiding under my bed; I waited for what seemed like an eternity for the Talisman to activate (the loading screen to pass). Luckily the vampire scourge was occupied with another prisoner, who they were humiliating (helping the guy use the bathroom).

His screams still haunt my dreams…

At last the talisman came to life and my hero, Richter Belmont, appeared. Armed with his Whip of Destruction, he beat back the fanged menace and granted me my first moment of respite (a release from the boredom and worry) in what seemed an age.

Belmont battled his way from the dungeons (the ER) all the way to the central tower (critical care) where he fought on my behalf against the vampire Lord himself; Dracula (the chief cardiologist). While he was unable to slay the fiend, he was able to force the dark one to hand over the elixir of health (heart medication) and release me from my fate as Vampire food.

As I walked once more into the brilliant light of day, basking in the glory of the sun, I said a prayer of thanks to any being of divinity (Konami) that had a hand in bringing Richter Belmont to my aide. Before leaving to continue his never-ending battle against the darkness, Belmont warned me to never travel without my Talisman of Light, (the PSP) for to do so would damn me for all time.

The power of my PSP talisman (Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles) truly saved my soul, and I encourage anyone facing the forces of the Abyss (boredom and worry) to trust in its power.

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  • Tags: PSP

    2 responses so far ↓

    • 1 Olly Newport // Nov 26, 2007 at 5:38 pm

      The PSP isn’t really that slow…but I did mod it and upgrade the speeds from default to 333mhz sooo. Anyway, it makes no sense but it does…what.

      I’m going to stop talking.
      Olly from Britan

    • 2 Silkysegal // Nov 26, 2007 at 9:07 pm

      NO PSP is so bad, read a book instead………….or get a DS

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