I’ve been on a rant recently about useless accessories, however, this item takes the cake.

It’s not an accessory per say, I don’t even know what category you’d place it in, other than “waste of money.” In fact, if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it existed.

On a recent spur-of-the-moment stop at one of those “learning” toy stores, I saw what I first thought was a console version of Dance Dance Revolution. I was wrong.

Take a look:

This deceiving and pointless $38.99 “toy” is not a game at all! It’s a “training” DVD for the actual console games.

WTF?

Read on about this ridiculous “game” and how to avoid them after the jump.

Yep. It comes with a standard DVD of basically DDR playing itself, and a “practice” DDR mat. That’s it! The mat has no wires or electronic components whatsoever.  On the back of the box, it actually says (in very small print) that it’s a great “training tool” for your kids to try before actually playing DDR.  Uh hello?! How about save 40 bucks and play EASY mode?

Say what you want to say about DDR, but this piece of crap has no real function. What’s even funnier was that the sales girl (not surprisingly) had no clue what it was. She actually tried to convince me that it was a real game, even after I pointed to what it said on the back. She refused to believe me, then finally another employee set her straight.

What a wonderful waste of money this is! I just love it when “clever” companies come with new ways to trick clueless consumers…  Why stop there? Think about all the other great “training” NON-game packages we could have out there!

• Beautiful Katamari Training Ball -  Prepare yourself for rolling around a ball of crap – by rolling around a ball of crap in your living room! The ball starts about the size of a volleyball, but with its super sticky surface, soon you’ll be destroying your furniture and other valuables with ease!  Watch out pets! (This one’s for Doc.)
• Halo 3 Training Assault Rifle – Get ready for the excitement of playing Master Chief and hunting down the flood, by shooting up your neighborhood and hunting down your friends! Comes complete with first aid kit and easy to fill out medical release forms.
• Portal Training Sledge Hammer – Excited about using portals to solve puzzles and move around? With this handy device, you can easily make “portals” all over your home to jump through.  Bonus cake mix included.
• Bioshock Training Little Sister – Train yourself to be a Big Daddy, by getting to be a daddy for real! This package comes complete with a big daddy outfit, and an adorable six year old orphan girl. (Real orphan girl available only in Thailand.) Adam syringes sold separately.

With a little practice from these great training tools, you’ll be more than ready to play the real games in just a few short weeks! In fact, they may be so much fun, you might want to skip getting the games altogether!

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