Lono v. Yousty
Antiquated. Old. Boring. Rehash. 16-bit. Half-Baked.
Ur Mr Gay.
These are the words that come to mind when I think about Super Mario Galaxy. The umpteenth game about a plumber and his color coordinated brother, fighting to save a princess. Have we seen this before?
Read the full scale War between Lono and Yousty, after the jump!
OMG! Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: Bowser (evil) kidnaps a Princess (16 bit hotness) and a plumber (wierd/gay?) has to save her… Yeah. Same s$%t, different generation.
Imaginative!
But wait! NOW… He’s in space! OMG! AND there’s two player support. EXCEPT. The second guy just points at crap to collect coins.
FUN!
There hasn’t been a Mario game since Sunshine. That was a long time ago. Mario is not relevant anymore. Nobody cares about Mario anymore. He’s old news. The sales in Japan have been medicore at best. The funny thing is Myamoto gets called a genius and all he does is recycle the same story, characters, but “innovates” by putting different stuff to jump on in his game. I just don’t care about this at all.
Dressing up a turd dosen’t make it pretty. It’s just a turd in a dress. It smells funny, but for some reason, you thought it wouldn’t because it was in a dress? That is what Mario Galaxy is to me. A turd in a dress. Or a plumber hat. Whatever.
Look, Mario games are what they are. Throwaway kiddie games. Run, jump, rinse and repeat. I’ll take Half-Life 2, Ratchet and Clank, Call of Duty (Any) or even Beautiful Katamari over that last gen piece of recycled 16-bit crap.
Go home and cry to Momma, you Nintendo fanboy lapdogs!
Yousty Rebuttal: HOW DARE YOU!
You are comparing the #1 icon of video games to a turd!? This is a legend, a hero, a symbol of all that is good in a world full of video game evil. You’re lucky we’re both not at SG Headquarters today or we’d be settling this one in the official SG Gladiator Arena, pal. (Yes it exists!)
Mario has single-handedly revolutionized and forged almost every single generation of gamers. There isn’t a single adult in this world who doesn’t remember the very first time they played Super Mario Bros. (the best selling game of all time, btw) on the Original NES. For most of us, it’s what turned us into gamers for life. The Mario franchise is 100% responsible for the popularity of video games today. If it weren’t for Nintendo and that lovable plumber, then video games would be nowhere near the cultural phenomena they are today. Show some respect.
Of course the story of Mario Galaxy is boring; every single platformer ever made has had a boring story. Let me ask you this, while playing through any Mario game, did you ever really care about the story? Of course you didn’t! You were too busy having so much fun playing that you couldn’t care less about some pointless story.
Name me one other game EVER made to have constantly changing gravitational pulls. Go ahead, I dare you. That’s right, there isn’t any, and even if there were, I guarantee it doesn’t work as perfectly as in Mario Galaxy. That’s what people in the video game industry like to call INNOVATION. I’m so sick of the unrelenting barrage of FPS after FPS. I miss the days of past when developers actually had to be creative and think outside the box instead of just rehashing the same game they previously released with a new title.
Let’s take a closer look at the amazing games you’ve been playing lately: Halo 3, Half-Life 2, and Call of Duty 4. Wow! What a variety! Both sequels to Halo: exactly the same as the original with slight graphical improvements. NO Innovation! Both episodes of Half-Life 2: exactly the same as the original, exactly. NO Innovation! Call of Duty 4: same exact game as the previous three except set in modern times with better multiplayer. NO Innovation! See where I’m going with this?
Super Mario games, on the other hand, have brought something extremely new and innovative to the table with almost every single title. Not just updated graphics and better multiplayer.
You know what? I’m not even angry at you anymore. I feel nothing but sympathy for you now, sympathy for that fact that you’re not even willing to try a game unless it involves guns and headshots. When you finally get tired of those extremely mindless and redundant shooters, Mario will be waiting to show you a whole new and unique world of unprecedented video game fun (after an apology of course).
Oh yeah, one last thing. Why don’t you go ahead and take a stroll over to Metacritic, Mr. “Review of the Reviews,” and look at what game currently has the HIGHEST RATING OF ANY OTHER GAME ON ANY SYSTEM. Super Mario Galaxy is a full 2 points ahead (98/100) of any other game! I hope you word your rebuttal wisely, because it’s you vs. the world on this topic.
Lono’s Final word. Hey Yousty, Prey had different Gravitational pull puzzles too…
Yousty, if I had known you and Mario were life partners, I would have gone easier on you… does Luigi know?
Honestly, if you’re going to rely on reviews how bout the reviews for these stinkers: Halo 3, anyone? Perfect Dark Zero ? There are a million other games that have gotten great, undeserved reviews. Besides, when judged against the rest of the crap on the Wii, I’m sure it shines like a diamond. I mean, look at its competition: Cooking Mama one and two, effing Wii Play, and Dragon Blade: Wrath of Fire. Puhleaze.
It’s funny that you didn’t even rip Ratchet and Clank or Beautiful Katamari, my other two examples. The platforming in any R & C game makes Mario look like a real Union plumber: fat lazy and ugly. Beleive me, I know what I’m talking about, there’s a lot of Union guys around here in Chicago.
Bottom Line: Mario has been resting on the laurels of Super Mario Brothers for almost 30 years. Oh and by the way, that was the last Mario game I played. I grew out of them after my voice changed.
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17 responses so far ↓
1 mrpuggywuggy // Nov 15, 2007 at 2:18 pm
I do not own a wii but i have to say lono is wrong on this mario is not relevant anymore are you crazy amazon uk and every other online retailer for the uk has sold out of galaxy before it even comes out all pre orders allocated.
so clearly a lot of people care about the mario games and you have to agree galaxy like all mario games is about pure gameplay you pick it up its fun end of story.
2 Lono // Nov 15, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Hey man, It’s just my opinion. Anyone else want to let me know that I’m wrong? Let’s hear it. Right or wrong? Yousty or Lono?
3 strika234 // Nov 15, 2007 at 3:14 pm
I’m sorry lono, but Yousty wins hands down.
Who cares about the same story? mario platforming is extremely fun an innovative. Name one other really innovating thing a recent platformer has done. Also, about the thing you said in prey, galaxy’s gravitational puzzles are wayyy more realized.
4 Bacontastic // Nov 15, 2007 at 3:29 pm
I’m with Lono on this one. Mario has gained such status with gamers that it’s become almost blasphemy to say anything negative about him and his games, no matter how dated they feel. Think the ‘Halo Jesus’ is bad? Try the Mario Jesus.
5 Networker // Nov 15, 2007 at 5:26 pm
lono has my vote, mindless FPS and FUN platformers(ratchet and clank) FTW
6 rasenganchidori // Nov 15, 2007 at 5:28 pm
lono, i usually agree with what you say but don’t diss the Mario
7 Lono // Nov 15, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Yousty only asked for one example of gravitational puzzles… So I gave him one.
8 Sn4tcH // Nov 15, 2007 at 7:38 pm
If you’ve read a lot of the reviews for Mario Galaxy, it has been compared to the latest R & C game, and been called superior in almost every instance (There was one review where someone said R&C was better, but A.) The review was sponsored by Sony, and B.) All the negative comments were based on graphics…). Basically everyone who touches this game turns to gold and feels like they’ve been touched by God.
In my opinion though, I could care less about another Mario game. I haven’t liked platform games since we gamers switch to three dimensions. But you’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not think that Mario is going to trounce all over the competition. There’s a reason why there hasn’t been a Mario game since Sunshine. Because Nintendo isn’t going to lay a yearly turd like certain other platformers (Ratchet and Clank).
But when has there ever been a BAD straight Mario game? (And if anyone says Sunshine, they fail.)
9 Im The Map // Nov 15, 2007 at 8:36 pm
I also agree with Lono. Mario is old…yes SMB was cool on the NES, so was Mario 64…talk about innovation. But Yousty, please don’t preach innovation on Mario with only the gravitational pulls as the innovative feature that overshadows the other big titles not found on the Wii. Yes, gravitational pulls are innovative, I guess. But wasn’t Forge and Saved Films in Halo 3 not innovative? Was not the gravity gun (or whatever it’s called in Half Life 2) innovative? How about Portal? BioShock? Assasins Creed? Really this argument is more about FPS’s and violent games in general. I think everyone who loves Mario sucks at FPS’s. Perhaps Yousty years fr vengenance Mario style on Halo playes who own him. “Take-a that-a beyatch!” Oh and please don’t quote metacritic scores…espeically with the recent Assasins Creed review outcry…
10 Sn4tcH // Nov 15, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Woah woah! Eveyone who plays Mario is sucks at FPS? I am pretty darn good at just about any FPS you throw at me and I can beat SMB in less than 10 minutes…
Don’t generalize.
11 Im The Map // Nov 15, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Sorry, I kid about sucking at FPS’s. I just get tired of every Mario game getting critical acclaim and a simple pass because it’s Mario and saying the game is good because it’s got Mario, and that if you don’t like it because it’s got Mario then you are a retarded Xbot, PS fanboi.
12 Lono // Nov 16, 2007 at 1:37 am
I guess it isn’t Me vs. the world, as yousty said.
Thanks for the support guys!
13 RVBDeathbot // Nov 16, 2007 at 6:39 am
Actually I agree with Lono on this one! The game that really got me into gaming was Crash Bandicoot on the original Playstation man the was a great game when I was 4 I loved the graphics and gameplay and now I go on Halo 3 I’m just like “whoo Big FREAKING difference!”! as for the first time I played a Mario game I wasnt that impressed until the handheld versions like Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga now that was incredably addictive!
14 SugarFree // Nov 16, 2007 at 8:20 am
“There isn’t a single adult in this world who doesn’t remember the very first time they played Super Mario Bros.”
The key word is adult. ADULT. Mario has a different impact for the latest generation of gamers. They don’t remember the days of blowing into their nintendo cartridges to get tecmo super bowl to work. They remember the day they got their PS2. Mario as a brand has more market share than all the other completing platformers. but Mario the game has lost significant meaning. While I will be picking up Galaxy, and I intend to enjoy it, I’ve also come to accept that I (we) are the minority in Nintendo’s eyes.
alpha moms > hardcore. lono ftw.
15 drakonis39 // Nov 16, 2007 at 11:15 am
I have to say, I agree with Lono to a point. Mario IS good stuff, but since Mario Sunshine…it’s become a little stagnant. Let’s face it, using the same methodology as Mario 64 but changing it to water and shine spirits…needs a lot more work. Galaxy…looks like Mario 64 yet again. When are they going to toss something BRAND new our way? Mario used to be the god of innovation…what happened Mario? What happened…
16 Scarykidd182 // Nov 16, 2007 at 1:39 pm
OK guys here’s my take on this situation. I am a fan of the classic Mario Platformers. I enjoyed Mario 64. When people ask me what my favorite game of all time is it will always be Super Mario 3 for the NES. When I’m looking for a casual game, most of the time, I’ll pick up SuperMarioDS or Tetris over anything else. I’m not too excited about Mario Galaxy. So in that sense I agree with Lono.
The Mario franchise really hasn’t changed the game experience in a long while. If anything I think that the multiple gravitational pulls would be incredibly confusing depending on how the controller works. (Keep in mind I haven’t played Mario Galaxy, demos, etc.)
I might play Mario Galaxy but I certainly wouldn’t buy it even if I had a Wii. I might rent it but I wouldn’t buy it.
The games that I do look forward to on the Wii are games like Metroid Prime, games that really use the innovative control scheme of the Wii.
I love all types of games from platformers to RPGs to FPSs, but recent platformers are not my favorite games in the world. I’m not a big fan of Ratchet and Clank. I never liked Crash Bandicoot. I was never a huge fan of Jak and Daxter. I hate all of the 3D Sonic the Hedgehog games. I think that there are better game genres than 3D platformers. They have their place in the gaming universe but they are not the first games that I pick up.
I think that games like Portal, Guitar Hero, Zelda, Bioshock, Gears of War, Ace Combat6, and Call of Duty 4 are the best games and type of games out right now. They are the games that interest me.
I think that the Mario franchise needs to add something new to the game other than the environment to be comparable to these other games.
I think that gaming as a whole is moving towards expanding the multyplayer gaming experiece, a thing that the core Mario franchise has never done well. As far as the american market goes, I don’t think that Mario Galaxy will sell as well as Halo or party game like Wii Sports.
Recently I think that Mario’s real strength comes from its offshoot games, Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros, Mario Party, etc, Not the core franchise. The offshot games are the games that I get excited about playing.
I also think that the core franchise in today’s market would be better off as a handheld casual game, instead of a full console game. When I’m playing on a handheld is normally when I really want to play Mario games.
Another reason why I don’t think that Mario will do as well is because of the failure of Mario Sunchine and other Mario games on the Gamecube. I think that those games really hurt the core Mario console franchise.
Another good point is that new gamers aren’t looking to games like Mario as the games that really got them into gaming. My 10 year old brother got into video games with games like Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter, Prince of Persia and Ace Combat 5, not the classic game franchises like Mario and Zelda.
I’ll end with this: When it comes to Wii games, because of the innovative nature of the console, the gaming experience has shifted from the games to the console itself. I’m much more interested in the Wii than the actual games that are played on it. The Wii is fun because of games like Wii Sports. To me the focus of the gaming experience on the Wii has everything to do with how the player interacts with the game through the Wii controller. Nintendo has positioned the Wii as such. I think that because of the Wii itself Mario Galaxy will not be as good as it possibly could be and I honestly don’t know how you could make a core Mario series game that caters to the appeals of the Wii, but using the standard Mario platforming format isn’t it.
17 Lono // Nov 16, 2007 at 2:41 pm
Well said, Scarykidd.
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