McDonald’s announced today that they had hired renowned Black Mesa Agent, and savior Gordon Freeman as head janitor!

“We find his gravity gun especially useful.” said the fast food restaurant manager at Gordon’s store. “It can pick up garbage like nothing else. We are thinking of firing all of our other janitors, because they haven’t really been doing anything!”

Fellow janitor, who only asked to be identified as “Master Chief” said, “Its not fair. He has this gravity gun that can help him do his cleaning faster and easier than any of us. Hell, all I have is a dumb gravity hammer that can only be used in the trash compactor. I think we should fire Gordon, not me or any of the other janitors, like Mario or Luigi, we need these jobs!”

Gordon himself could not be reached for comment, as he never speaks, but the manager says he is very happy with his job.

* Flakey is a guest contributor and is known as iPlayPC on the Sarcastic Gamer Forums!

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