It’s the holiday season, and with it comes an onslaught of toy advertising. This I expected, what I didn’t expect was a ridiculous merging of toy types. I present the latest gift that could destroy us all:

The Fisher Price Smart Cycle.

So what’s wrong with that? Find out after the jump!

We live in a society of faster, easier, and more convenient. Email, text message, instant message, smart phone and even Xbox Live messages, everything has to be instant. I’m guilty of this myself, as I use a Blackberry constantly, but our kids’ toys don’t need to have the same philosophy in mind. Kids should just get to be kids, at least for a LITTLE while!

It used to be simple, there were video games for kids (lego star wars), learning & teaching toys (speak & spell), and there were toys that helped kids exercise (bikes, footballs, etc.)

Now some evil genius at Fisher Price has come up with the ultimate hybrid of these three genres. Forget getting your kid to ride a bike, learn to read, or just have some fun playing a video game, now they can all be done at once! This is no joke, this thing really exists.

To be honest, I have mixed feelings about this monstrosity. Part of me feels that it would be a great thing for busy parents; on the other hand, I also remember reading that this was the first sign of the apocalypse.

Next thing you know, kids won’t even have to get out of bed! There will be the “Fisher-Price Brain-Builder-Fun-Implant” where your kids will get exercise, reading lessons, and rule the galaxy all while staying in a safe little sleeping pod. Matrix anyone?

It’s the Apocalypse I tell you. I’d start building that bunker now.

You never know.

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