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Guitar Hero 3 Goes the Extra Mile

by Doc

An insider at Red Octane confirmed today that Guitar Hero 3 is adding a whole new level of realism to the already red-hot franchise.

“Instead of just re-releasing the same game with a new song pack, we’ve decided to go the extra mile to ensure that players actually feel like a true rock star,” our source told us. “The Guitar Hero 3 Bundle will include the game, the guitar, a baggy of rock cocaine, and a petri-dish with an active strain of herpes.”

“To ensure that players get the most out of the experience, the graphic fretboard for several of the songs will be rendered as a blur of lines and colors. The only way to see it properly is to get completely effed up.”

Other features being considered are an enhanced career mode, where the lead singer dies in a tragic accident, and you and the band must struggle to accept that people really don’t know who the hell you are.

Expansion packs will include “Reunion Tour” which includes sleepy acoustic versions of all of the same songs, and “Rehab” where the player discovers that they can’t play crap when sober.

“Sex is another big part of being a rock star, so we’re also looking at the possibility of including an anatomically correct inflatable groupie, with the premium bundle,” said our insider.

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