Walking home the other night I witnessed what may very well be the most awesome, and pitiful battle of my entire life. Outside my local liquor store, 6 of the biggest names in comics were waging an obviously intoxicated battle.

I normally avoid super loud, chaotic destruction, but fate stepped in to ensure I had no other choice but watch this train wreck unfold. Or rather I tripped over it. Unable to see The Invisible Woman, I tripped over the female Fantastic Four member. Looking up, I took in the devastation. The entire Fantastic Four team, Spiderman and Superman where battling it out like old winos fighting over the last drop of whiskey.

Find out who wins, who loses in this fight for the craptacular award!

“Spiderman 3 sucks the most! It doesn’t make a lick of sense. You can’t control the camera, or the fighting. For gods sake you only need to use 2 buttons to beat the entire game!” Spiderman screams, just before Mr. Fantastic pimp slaps him across the street.

“Hell no! Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is WAAAYYY worse! Our upgrade system is useless and half our objectives are stupid stuff like opening doors! Hell, you can just mash the controller blindly in every fight! We suck way more than Spiderman 3!” Mr. Fantastic yells.

“Please… You’re all wrong. Superman Returns is by far the worst game ever! I have a huge city, with nothing to do in it! The story makes no sense whatsoever and the boss fights are frustrating as hell.” Superman wheezes as Thing wails him in the head with a car.

The battle quickly turns against Spiderman as the Human Torch sets him ablaze. The entire FF crew begins to kick the holy hell out of him before Superman freezes both Mr Fantastic and the Human Torch with his ice breath. As the remaining combatants square off for the final death blows I could take it no more.

“Stop! There is no need to fight. ALL of your games sucked. Period. Bar none the worst video games you all have been involved in for years. They are all huge hunks of crap. And crap is crap, no matter what the game is called. The whole lot of them were a disgrace to comic games, and an insult to your fans. Go home and think long and hard about what you can do to make sure this never happens again! Oh, and give me your car keys you drunk fools.”

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