This is history in the making. A video game company is getting into the pharmaceutical business.

In this truly original concept, popular video game company, Activision is releasing a new drug series just approved by the FDA. 

Perk Pills!  

Read why you’ll want them after the break!

According to Perk Pill inventor Skippy McSpeedy: 

“What’s the most important thing to gamers? Having TIME to play! Perk Pills are designed to give you the most time to sit on your ass as possible!”  

These over-the-counter drugs will be the first release from Activision’s new division, Activision Pharmaceuticals. In their wildly popular game, Call of Duty 4, your soldier equips “perks” that significantly enhance your fighting and shooting ability. Perk Pills will take this idea to a whole new level.  

According to Activision: 

“We decided to take our popular perk concept one step further, and bring it right to the gamers themselves! With Perk Pills, you can now choose just the right perk to get you through your busy day. The effects will last for approximately 30 minutes, however you can take no more than 3 at a time. ”

Here’s just a handful of Perk Pills that will soon be on the market: 

• Crafty Commuter –  Get to and from work in a fraction of the time! With this ability, you’ll weave through traffic with the extreme speed and pinpoint precision of a professional racer. Side effects may include motion sickness, and possible speeding tickets. 
• Busy-Work Buster – Is your boss or co-worker on the verge of giving you a load of mindless tasks a monkey could do? With this perk, you’ll fabricate a believable excuse instantly!  Also works well with teachers and homework. 
• Sick Day Fake-Out – Need a day off to play more games? Pop this little baby right before talking to your boss, and you’ll look like the walking dead, guaranteed to secure you a free day off.  Also comes in handy on Halloween. 
• Hyper Housework – Do the dishes, laundry, and clean the house in minutes so you can get back to gaming! Only works for things someone else is bugging you to do.  
• Argument Skipper– Having another heated, yet mindless argument with your sweetheart? Just pop one of these perks to come up with the winning line that will leave her speechless. You’ll be back to playing COD4 in no time! Also comes in handy if you’re busted while using Crafty Commuter.

Perk Pills … brought to you by Activision Pharmaceuticals.

Just Pop & Play!  

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