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A Conversation with a WoW Addict.

November 30th, 2007 at 8:25 am · 19 Comments

by

It’s not every day that I talk to World of Warcraft scum, but occasionally it happens on accident. This sedentary piece of trash has three level 70 characters,wow.jpg  roughly translating to 3.2 careers and 1/2 of a real social life wasted.

XenoOfAzeroth: hey d00d r u that rogue nelf on hakkar who is selling teh +80 stamina merciless knight vest?
Volkov: What? The rogue what on what now?
Xeno: d00d the nelf on hakkar with the sweeeet vest for trade?
Volk: Are you trying to insult me? WTF is a nelf?
Xeno: omgz0rs wut a noob!!! nelf = night elf lmao
Volk: Oh god, you’re one of them.
Xeno: im not a night elf man lol
Xeno: those are for queerz
Volk: No, I mean a WoW nerd.
Volk: Why don’t you go raid a paper bag and get lost?
Xeno: wut wut? no one ever told me about a new dungeon
Xeno: how do i get 2 paper bag?
Xeno: wut drops there?
Volk: Calm down man, you gotta be at least level 80 before you can get access.
Xeno: omglol
Xeno: u dum noobie there is no level 80
Volk: Alright, fine. You got me.
Xeno: see im too smart for u. that’s y im 2nd in command for my uber guild
Xeno: i can ban peeps on teamspeak haha its so fun
Xeno: ok but srsly where is paper bag? i need honor points d00d
Volk: …
Volk: My head hurts all of a sudden.
Xeno: lolle just go take sum lvl 3 aspirin
Volk: Do you talk like that all the time, or just when you lose connection to your cerebral cortex?
Xeno: i get tooootttally pissed when i lose connection
Xeno: f*kin blizard servers
Volk: Riiigghhttt.
Volk: OK well I’m going to go enjoy life.
Xeno: oh kool wut realm r u logging into?
Volk: The one where I get drunk and forget about people like you.
Xeno: d00d you can totally drink in wow its so cool
Volkov has signed off.

After this little spiel I’m gonna need a level 4 aspirin.




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Tags:
Categories: Parody

  • Chaser019

    Okay…

    So here I am finally..

    I’m a regular listener of the show, and a new member to the forums, and this article makes me want to leave the site altogether; here’s why.

    You can’t possibly take anyone who plays WoW and group them into one entire category and assume that because we like the game we are “scum”, or that we have 1/2 a social life.

    “This sedentary piece of trash has three level 70 characters…”

    So what? Have you ever actually played WoW? Anyone who knows how to play it even slightly can hit level 70 in under 5 days of actual play time; and any person who plays games knows its not hard to lose yourself in any game you enjoy for hours at a time. But before I go any further i’ll give you some info about myself so you can reply here as to why I’m such a bad person.

    1) Recently landed myself a decent paying full-time job that I enjoy.

    2) Had my first kid 4 months ago, and everyone knows that having a baby for the first time isn’t exactly a walk in the park, and spending time with him is my major priority.

    3) I am engaged, yes, I live with a woman. Also not a walk in park at times.

    And heres the one the All knowing Mr. Volkov will just flip over.

    4) Im currently working on my 4th 70 in WoW.

    I’ve been playing the game since Open Beta, its not exactly hard to get 4 70s in 3 years. Just because this guy plays WoW enough to have 3 of them doesn’t mean hes a scum.. although from reading your conversation he sounds like a douche.

    But it’s getting old that every time someone mentions WoW everyone goes and rampage talking about anyone and everyone who plays it or other MMOS are newbs that have no life..

    Volkov, I would dare say you probably spend more time in front of gaming consoles than many people that play WoW, where;s your excuse?

  • keith22

    Hey Chaser019 call down man its porady fake news every friday they post parodies lol take it easy man lol

  • http://www.transisco.co.uk Olly Newport

    FRIDAY PARODY NEWS IS ALWAYS THE BEST LOLOLOLOL NOOBZ INIT LIKE MAZIN’ LIKE THE NELFS R LIKE ALL THE TME INIT ROLF GOD DA NOOBZ R WAYS MK ME SICK.

    Nvr plyd wrcft, and I will never even think about playing it.

    Chaser019 calm down dear, it’s only a advert.

  • Chaser019

    YEA I KNOW!!!! lol

  • Chaser019

    I’ve been reading the site long enough to know that friday is parody day :P

    figured i’d give you guys a bit of entertainment though, since god knows everyone here has helped me through many a long day at work.

  • keith22

    lol Olly pls don’t write with caps my eays are starting to bleed lol

  • http://www.sarcasticgamer.com Matt “Volkov” Schmidt

    Everyone needs to chill out up in here.

    Light some incense.

  • Gewehr2

    I know some WoW addicts but they dont talk like THAT! But i swear thats all they talk aboyt day in & day out . it consumes lives.

  • http://www.myspace.com/deathfornoobs Spartan_Ownage

    I’m a big WoW Gamer, But thats just the funniest **** I’ve seen all day, and most pathetic for that matter.
    And btw, that picture at the top you say “Doesn’t exsist” highly likely does, you’d probably be suprised at the number of gamers that are female.

  • harry ftw

    hehe wows rlly fun and if your half way to 70 like i am an then sudenly your acount password chages and you cant get it back its fustrating but then you find there r other things to do in life. the a bout a week later you get extreamly bored and make a new account caz all your freinds either have gone on holiday or you have seen enough of them but alot of people that play wow are actually prety cool people (well the horde r any way most of the alliance are 7 yr old) and theydo have a social life. plus what could be more social than playing a game with 10 million other people ? :) enogh said and i know it was a parody news but meh :| bye =/

  • harry ftw

    i know like 3 female player just in my guild and some of them r hot (smoken hot specially the dutch ones)

  • http://www.bangmymom.gov Level 4 Asshat

    This is possibly the best depiction of its kind ever.

    I salute you, Sarcastic Gamer.

    Have a Level 4 Lager, on me.

  • Leo

    I came in here thinking it was real. You see, I just recently subscribed to this feed, only listen to the podcast at times. Good game sir, and great article.

  • http://fooshizzle.net The Faunk

    I don’t know any gamer who talks like this.

    >_> PARODY FRIDAY.. or sumthing?

  • spartan_ownage

    Lol, I’m unfortunately hooked on WoW myself and after viewing that I couldn’t help but fall on the ground laughing. I relived every stupid conversation I’ve ever had in WoW while reading it…
    Priceless.

  • emmahaynes

    I’d just like to point out that I’m a WoW fan, I wouldn’t say addict but most definitely a fan. I am a girl (shock horror) I also model for adult magazines so I’m not a complete trout. It has to be said that your attempt to demoralize all WoW gamers with your monosyllabic drivel is tedious to say the least.

    I know you publicize yourself as the ‘sarcastic gamer’ but you’d think you may actually concoct some original content with that over sized head of yours.

    You just may have found the single most exceptionally illiterate individual on the planet to ascertain your sheltered views of the general public.

    Might I suggest you take a walk in the real world (outside of your bedroom) and sample life as it really is before you insult a significant amount of people with your insinuations and politically incorrect assumptions.

    Oh and for the record, I can provide proof that I’m female just in case you thought I was bluffing.

    • hawke

      u model and u play WoW?…….. thats COOL!

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  • Anonymous

    This was the biggest pile of shit I’ve ever read.

    I pwn at WoW, and I also lead a pretty active lifestyle. YEAH BETCH.