Volkov vs. Lono 

Source: The Guardian 

Way back in the dog days of summer, Lono claimed he knew the true meaning of next-gen. What he didn’t know, was that he made a complete ass of himself. You see, the gaming god, Will Wright, creator of some of the most innovative and best-selling titles of the past two decades (read: not Halo), has declared Wii to be supreme:

The only next gen system I’ve seen is the Wii – the PS3 and the Xbox 360 feel like better versions of the last, but pretty much the same game with incremental improvement. But the Wii feels like a major jump – not that the graphics are more powerful, but that it hits a completely different demographic. In some sense I see the Wii as the most significant thing that’s happened, at least on the console side, in quite a while.

OUCH! BURRNNNNNNN! You feel that Lono? Do you feel the cold, harsh reality of incorrectness? You may be the favorite among our forum members (cheater), but you’ve got nothing on someone who wins BAFTA awards, plus is designing a game that crafts evolution from the ground up. We might as well just delete your article and pretend you never wrote it. Also, we should discredit anything else you’ve wrote since then. They are wrong by association.

But wait, there’s more!

I still, for the most part, prefer playing games on the computer – to me the mouse is the best input device ever…Every generation it’s like “the PC’s dead! The PC’s dead!”. But it carries on growing when consoles are flat for five years. At the moment I can get better graphics on my PC than I can on the PS3.

Are you listening Doc? Lono? Uneducated gamers like you have been declaring this myth for years. PC gaming is not dying. Period. It’s expensive, and it’s not as simple to get going. But people are still buying and playing computer games because of the ‘little’ advantages like the ability to tweak, a wide array of modifications, shooters that don’t need aimbots built into them, and an endless supply of free content. Oh yeah, and our games don’t have licensing fees tacked onto the price tag.

So juggle your analog sticks all you want. I’ll be over here with my mouse and keyboard ready to frag the day cross-platform multiplayer becomes widespread. Just be careful not to not to ruin your HDTV you had to buy, when you predictably chuck the controller at the displayed scoreboard.

Oh yeah, he also announced Spore for Wii. Congrats Wii owners.

Party on.

Lono Rebuttal:

Wow, the great and fabulous Will Wright declared the Wii to be the bestest thing EVAR and the PC to be the SHIZZLE? 

Huh… Wait a minute.

Isn’t he also trying to sell a PC game and a Wii game?  Why, yes he is!  Is he trying to sell a 360 or PS3 game?  No…. Well, that’s interesting. 

I wonder why he would pump up the PC and the Wii???

Yeah Matt, I must have been soooo wrong to disagree with that little slice of “honesty” from Will Wright.  You got me there.

Will Wright saying that the Wii is the greatest thing ever, is like saying that Oscar Meyer reeeeally thinks that Hot Dog buns are waaay better than hamburger buns.  Come on Matt, for you to bite like that (Pun!), well, let’s just say Will knows his target audience:  the informationally challenged.

Read-Between-The-Lines, Matt.   I can’t believe that I had to point this out to you.

You must feel like a real ass…   

I mean that in the nicest possible way. 

______________________________

Matt’s final word:

Lono, you smell like doody.

(Oh yeah, I took the high ground!)

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