Half-Life 2 Jesus is Magic!

October 19th, 2007 at 9:00 am · 3 Comments

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With the huge success of the Orange Box, which includes the uber popular Half-Life 2, analysts on Wall Street all agree that Half-Life 2 can sell anything! As a result, companies around the world have begun pairing copies of the Xbox 360 version of Half-Life 2 with their products!

German Bratwurst King, Hans Skeimkopf, owner of Biener Wieners, has begun offering Half Life 2 free with the purchase of a tasty bratwurst at select restaruant locations throughout Germany.

“Das Half-Life 2 are really selling my tasty wieners!”

Here in the U.S., Burger King recently began a promotion offering Half-Life 2, free with the purchase of their Double Whopper Triple Extra Large Value Meal.

Burger King’s spokesman, the King, said, “Half-Life 2 will actually help us sell burgers, unlike our last attempt! Who knew that a bumper car game would really suck?”

In the French Riviera, Yves Saint Laurent, Fashion Mogul, has decreed that all models walking down his runway will carry a copy of Half-Life 2.

Even Britany Spears has begun carrying a copy with her, showing it to paparazzi around Los Angles hotspots, “I herd dat veedeeoo game cana make me sell sum o mah reckords, y’all… Ohh is dat a doughnut, I wanna eat it, y’all! Mah favorite doughnuts are the piggy flavored ones… hmmm yummmy piggy!”

How far can the world phenomenon known as Half-Life 2 go? Valve CEO Chester Winter had this to say, “We did get some requests that we had to turn down. Britany Spears is one thing, but there ain’t no way we’re selling the 360 version of Half-Life 2 with the Wii!”

Worldwide marketing phenomenom indeed. The PS3 continues to wait silently for the Orange Box release date.

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