by Doc

Namco Bandai, woke up this morning to some news that they were not expecting. The ESRB, the entity tasked with rating video games for consumers consumption in the US, has issued an AO rating for Beautiful Katamari.

Morgan Hedberg, spokeswoman for the ESRB:

We cannot in good conscience issue any rating for this title, except an AO. Most people think that just because there’s no violence or neck-hole humping, that a game is automatically safe for children. But after searching this game from top to bottom, and finding literally zero redeeming value, we decided that AO was the only possible way to go. I mean, how can we look at ourselves in the mirror, knowing we unleashed such an empty title on children. If we can keep just one child from playing this game and thinking that its the best that gaming has to offer, we’ve done our job.

Did they even listen to the Soundtrack? I mean seriously, it’s not just about rolling a ball around a poorly rendered environment. It’s about rolling a ball around a poorly rendered environment with GREAT SOUND! Gaw!

We were well prepared for this turn of events. We understand the ESRB’s position, and while we do not agree with it, we have decided to implement our backup plan, and add “math” to the game. In the Gold version, players are presented with a math problem, and then challenged to roll around our poorly rendered environments until they find the correct answer. It will take us about 5 minutes to add to the game, so there will be no delay in release.

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