by Doc

LONO! THIS IS NOT READY! STILL PLAYING WITH THE IDEA! DO NOT PUBLISH!

Most of the United States celebrated the arrival of Halo 3, with midnight launch parties held at literally hundreds of retailers. But for the residents of Hooper, Nebraska (population 47) things could not have gone worse. At the end of this party, the only thing anyone went home with, was death and sorrow.

“At first we thought it was some sort of publicity stunt,” said mayor Newt Justice. “We was all lined up outside Walmart, just before midnight, which we didn’t really have to do, since it’s open 24 hours, but anyways, all the sudden we saw this guy roll up in this purple thing.”

Eyewitnesses say the crowd actually began to move towards the man and the machine, until he drew his weapon.

“I just remember he had this head kinda like a bug and a voice like…. like …. Like James Earl Jones or something. He called himself ‘the carpenter’ or something. Then he cut Bobby Taylor clean in half!” said eyewitness, Clarence Beasley.

Georgia Watson, 52, was also present with her son. “The last thing I heard him say was LOOK mom he’s got a needler! How cool is that? Then…. these purple things came flying towards us, and he was…. gone.”

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