by Jeromy “Doc” Adams

General Mills launched a new cereal line this week, officially licensed by Sony. While “Blu-Ray Crunch” has raised a few eyebrows, Sony and General mills assure cereal enthusiasts that this will be the most appetizingly advanced cereal packaging in the history of the morning meal.

“While we don’t actually have any cereal to put IN the box just yet, the box itself is just amazing,” said Sony’s Phil Harrison. “It can hold 25% more cereal than any of its competitors.”

First-week sales of the product were less than spectacular, as many critics argued that there’s just no reason to buy the $25.00 box until there’s cereal in it.

Not to be outdone, Microsoft and Nintendo responded with their own brands of cereals.

Microsoft’s “Red Rings of Health” will come in more than 50 varieties, all of which are based around cayenne pepper.

Nintendee-oes will taste exactly like Cheerios, but will come bundled with some sort of fancy spoon.

Several other companies have made known their intentions to enter the breakfast fray, as Electronic Arts released a statement claiming it had secured exclusive licenses with Rice, Corn and Wheat to develop future cereal franchises. Never one to give up, Take Two (2k) says it’s going to make a cereal anyway, using beef scraps and rutabagas.

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