Sarcastic Gamer Exclusive by Lono

SOURCE: TMX Media

Anonymous sources at Rockstar games have confirmed this afternoon that GTA IV was delayed until April, 2008, because Lindsay Lohan stalled her confirmation as the title character for the cross-platform blockbuster!An anonymous rep from Rockstar confirmed that LiLo will finally be formally announced as the staring character in GTA IV. She will play a young starlet on the rise in New York. The rep stated, “We wanted someone more dangerous for the role than what we previosly had. Forget russian mobsters, now you’ll be able to drive drunk, use drugs and drive, and assault people without threat from the police, or prosecution. Basically she’ll be playing herself, but ya know, in New York.”

When asked about her reputation for showing up late and her propensity to not show up for work at all, he replied, “This is a video game, we’ll just find some other bimbo to act like a drunken harlot for our motion capture tech guys. All we really need is her likeness, and I have plenty of photographs to go on. So, no worries!”

Hope they have a “hot coffee” mod for this version… Oooohhh, cheap shot…

Hmmmm, LiLo is to blame for the delay… and everybody thought it was the PS3’s fault. Tsk, tsk.

GTA IV is due out in Q1 2008.

Sound off if you want to see some GTA IV Lohan va-jay-jay in our FORUMS!

Photo by Lono, all rights reserved

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