AMD Announces Pudding-Cooled Processors

August 16th, 2007 · No Comments

by Jeromy “Doc” Adams

In what can only be described as true innovation, AMD announced today that it has successfully tested a pudding-cooled processor. The implications of this breakthrough are far-reaching.

“While liquid-cooled systems have been around for a while, we found that pudding can actually outperform any known system by as much as 40%,” said a representative for AMD at today’s press conference. “The pumps requires to move the pudding past the processor are very large and quite loud, but we feel confident that as we further develop this technology, those issues should be resolved.”

Wall Street responded by sending shares of Jello and Swiss Miss soaring, up more than $3.00 a share.

Gamers will have the option of installing a “Snack Port” into their rigs which will deliver creamy goodness, warmed by the heat from the CPU.

“The harder you game, the better it tastes,” said the official press release, “and the smell of warm pudding does a surprising job of masking the odors emitted by some gamers.

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  • Tags: Doc · fake news · parody · satire

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