by Matt Schmidt

Now you too can taste the hardcore ownage that professional gamers and obsessive wannabes make every day! Simply follow the recipe directions below, and you will be well on your way to ‘fraggin scrubz’ and “l33t skilz’.

• 1/2 cup illiteracy
• 1cup of 100% all-natural ability (a.k.a. wallhacks)
• 800cc’s of straight liquid caffeine
• 2 tbsp unyielding rage
• 3 obscenely large bags full of money for your gaming rig
• 1 prescription to the ADHD drug of your choice
• 10 fingers
• The will to play one game for more than two years straight

Mix together. Bake at 1337 degrees with love, until the edges are brown or noobs quiver in your presence.

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