by Jeromy “Doc” Adams

The Lord God Almighty, in an effort to reconnect with his favorite creation, has decided to enter the 1v1 Quake competition at next Friday’s QuakeCon. Angel Marty Cloudrunner, chief spokesperson for the supreme creator says God is a big fan of the franchise.

“The Stroggs actually bear a striking resemblance to the fallen one, Lucifer. There’s nothing the big guy enjoys more than rail-gunning those suckers,” said Cloudrunner.

In the interest of fairness, id Games has asked God to play with his all-knowingness tied behind his back.

“We’re very concerned that God might use his power as a hack,” said tournament director Louis Gerblackowicz.

Sadly, Gerblackowicz was struck by a bolt of lightning INSIDE his Santa Monica apartment, shortly after commenting on this story.

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