by Jeromy “Doc” Adams
SOURCE: G4TV

I know I’m a little late on this, but I was sitting here this evening watching the reruns of last week’s E3 coverage and it occurred to me that someone needs to come along and kick their ass. Somebody give me 20 million dollars or so…. it wouldn’t be that difficult.

The hosts on G4TV do not go home and play video games. They have no idea what the hell they are talking about. Somehow they managed to bungle interviews with Valve, id, and Nintendo within a fifteen minute window. It’s like they took facts from a press release, turned them into questions, and served them underhanded to the PR folks that were unlucky enough to stumble onto their set.

In one painful moment, following an interview with a dude from Valve, a stuttering correspondent asked this question of a panel of guests:

Do you think the the Wii inspired the making of games like Portal? (Portal was started years ago as a college project in Seattle, then subsequently absorbed by Valve.) What made this question even more moronic, is that Valve’s rep had JUST FINISHED EXPLAINING WHERE THE GAME CAME FROM. HOW COULD THE WII HAVE INFLUENCED THIS GAME??!? IT DID NOT FRICKIN EXIST?

Then there’s Morgan Webb, who apparently is trying to land a job at E!, with her smarmy delivery and total lack of understanding of anything she is talking about. I can’t wait for her Teleprompter to go down one day. I think I’ll watch more… it’s bound to happen one day.

The only people that seemed to understand how to deliver E3 to the viewers were the guests. It’s sad when bloggers and computer geeks from studios do a better job of presenting the E3 material than the “TV Stars”. If G4’s executives had half a brain between them, they’d use E3 as a recruiting tool. I saw at least half a dozen poor attendees that thoroughly eclipsed the performances of their staff. Get a clue.

Finally, I hope G4TV can get the taste of Mario poop off of their lips, after the thorough ass-kissing they gave to Nintendo. At every turn they talked about the “Mighty Wii” and the “Unstoppable Wii”. Sorry, are you guys talking about the system that people buy and then use as a bookend once they realize they’ve paid 300 bucks for a bowling game without HD or decent Internet capabilities? Oh okay. G4TV is the Wii of Gaming TV. They are #1 because nobody is else is doing it.

So if anyone has a few million bones at their disposal…. I’m game.

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