In a startling turn of events, Sony announced today that it is abandoning it’s PlayStation franchise altogether. A company spokesman delivered the news during a pre-E3 press junket.

“We never thought it would come to this, but there’s just no competing with the Wii and the 360,” said Kurt Jablakowich. “This was a difficult decision, but it saves us a ton of production and marketing money we were wasting on this piece of crap.”

Jablakowich went on to say that the company would instead focus its efforts on a new vacuum cleaner based on the design of the Playstation 3.

“The system already has the sucking power, so it’s just a matter of channeling that sucking into carpets instead of gamer’s wallets. It’s not all that different.”

The SuckStation 3 is scheduled for commercial availability by November, in time for the Holiday shopping season.

Sarcastic Gamer News Team

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