by Matt Schmidt

A piracy group, under the name Warez, released a patch for copies of Halo 2 and Shadowrun which allows them to run on Windows XP systems. The two titles were originally created to only run on Vista, but many spit out the spoonful of bull$@*% Microsoft was serving.

The obvious cause for the deception would be the push for adoption of the new candy-coated operating system. Trust me though, it’s not. I go to college, which automatically increases my IQ by 15 points. My school has taught me very valuable lessons about thinking outside of the box.

MATT’S LIST OF POSSIBLE (PROBABLE) THEORIES

1. Microsoft is just playing an April Fools joke. The original prank they came up with, putting salt in the sugar jar of every gullible consumer, wasn’t feasible even with the $35 billion sitting in their bank account.

2. The games crashed to desktop a similar amount of times between the two OSes, but since the Vista Aero interface is “prettier” and more calming, users were less likely to throw their computer chair through their monitor.3. The developers are taking advantage of Vista’s slacking performance as a bottleneck, in order to make things more fair for the cross-platform matches. The hidden auto-aim feature still couldn’t beat the good ol’ mouse and keyboard.

4. The User Account Control security adds extra gameplay value. Having to give permission for your weapon to fire or to take a step forward is unique and revolutionary, no matter what anybody else thinks.

5. Microsoft was doing a good deed, trying to save others from wasting their time with such sub-par games.Don’t just let me attempt to be funny, come up with your own reasonably hilarious theories. Head over to our FORUMS and sound off!

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