In a startling turn of events, Sony announced today that it is abandoning it's PlayStation franchise altogether. A company spokesman delivered the news during a pre-E3 press junket.

"We never thought it would come to this, but there's just no competing with the Wii and the 360," said Kurt Jablakowich. "This was a difficult decision, but it saves us a ton of production and marketing money we were wasting on this piece of crap."

Jablakowich went on to say that the company would instead focus its efforts on a new vacuum cleaner based on the design of the Playstation 3.

"The system already has the sucking power, so it's just a matter of channeling that sucking into carpets instead of gamer's wallets. It's not all that different."

The SuckStation 3 is scheduled for commercial availability by November, in time for the Holiday shopping season.

Sarcastic Gamer News Team

Oh, how I wish it was true ;D

In my opinion, Sony still thinks that PS3 is the best and the number of their consoles sold ( http://nexgenwars.com ) is that low only because PS3 was launched so late (compared with 360). PlayStation could be the greatest console ever, but Sony prefered to produce a shit and pride it on being the greatest console ever.
Let's get back to playing on our 360s :P

"The system already has the sucking power"

Gold

I choked on my beer and it came it out my nose.

It's not like Sony don't have other, profitable avenues of income to support the games division.

Ken Kutaragi's over-ambition with PS3's power really made the machine a hard sell on price alone, but once they get the costs (and subsequently, the price) down, and if they manage to get the games to convince us skeptics that it's a worthwhile investment, they could claw back enough of a market share to stay in for the rest of this round and set them up for a comeback next-gen.

Especially now that Kutaragi (allegedly a real control freak and something of a renegade) is out of the picture, Sony will be able to pull the PlayStation costs back under control.

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

Facts are overrated!

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."



They took the fact that the playstation was overpriced and selling badly, then made a joke of it. I know it made me laugh, good write up.

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

Oh, oh, oh, do you see what he did there? *snicker* *That's a nice, concise 1-2 punch to the gut right there... *And nope, it's not me under a fake account...

Hello Mr. Rowlander, welcome! *Take off your shoes, stay a while! *;D


Facts are overrated!

No, making "the funny" while keeping the "facts" is highly underrated...

"The system already has the sucking power, so it's just a matter of channeling that sucking into carpets instead of gamer's wallets. It's not all that different."

I nearly fell out of my comfy chair laughing at this. I went through the silly and entirely too long registration process just to say that I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at this.

It made me smile when I read it. I almost clapped but then I saw it was a joke. Oh what the hell I'll clap anyway. Sony being humped into submission by MS and Nintendo is someting I should think about more when I'm not playing awesome games like Gears or Rainbow 6.

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!
You obviously aren't familiar with Doc Adams :)

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

Well I think it is STILL fun to laugh at how much the PS3 does actually suck...

I just think they tried too hard to make games look super "pretty". Maybe going the way of the Wii, taking out DVD/Music CD compatibility could have saved them some $$$ plus additionally lower the PS3 price more. To this time I think we're at the point that nearly everyone already has a DVD player so adding it to the PS3 really is a waste. Using Blu-Ray discs also killed them as well. By far they should have gone with HD-DVD instead for their games.

They buffed it up so much to the point of it breaking your wallet in half with the additional arm and leg.

By far they should have gone with HD-DVD instead for their games.
I'm not trying to catch you out or anything, but why would HD-DVD be a better option for games than Blu-ray?

There are a couple of reasons Sony would put Blu-ray into the PS3 - the biggest being that they own the format. It makes more sense for them to choose the next-gen format that they've already invested millions of dollars to develop.

Additionally, they were probably hoping that the PlayStation brand (and the raw specification) would overcome the price tag and would end up bringing Blu-ray into millions of homes, which would mean higher sales of Blu-ray discs and as a result more profit for the companies behind it.

Ultimately it was a purely business decision rather than a rational, "what would be best for the consumer?" process.

By far they should have gone with HD-DVD instead for their games.
I'm not trying to catch you out or anything, but why would HD-DVD be a better option for games than Blu-ray?

There are a couple of reasons Sony would put Blu-ray into the PS3 - the biggest being that they own the format. It makes more sense for them to choose the next-gen format that they've already invested millions of dollars to develop.

Additionally, they were probably hoping that the PlayStation brand (and the raw specification) would overcome the price tag and would end up bringing Blu-ray into millions of homes, which would mean higher sales of Blu-ray discs and as a result more profit for the companies behind it.

Ultimately it was a purely business decision rather than a rational, "what would be best for the consumer?" process.

See thats my point. Instead of using so much money on Blu Ray, why not just use HD-DVD? My post was mainly point out how the PS3 could have sold more with less royalties and a little breather to your wallet cause lets face it. Not every average gamer has the ability to afford $600 + with additional taxes.
I had a clear shot at buying any of the current gen consoles. I was leaning more to the PS3 till I herd how expensive it would be. It was way too much, nobody that I know has even came close to buying a PS3 either. Everyone was buying a 360 or a Wii. I went with a Wii since the PS3 was out of my reach and I was never really an xbox fan.

I laughed when I herd that the gameboy advanced was selling more then the PS3.

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

I think the story is a decent parody, but it could have been written a little better to include more facts and maybe a Dyson quote about harnessing the sucking power of the PS3. Not bad but could use some work.

I´m not a fan of the PS3 either, but I have to say, that this was a very lame joke.

Parody is to take existing facts and twisting them to make a joke. Like you did with the "surface". But here you basicly just make a post that says:
"PS3 sucks! Haha! No really, that´s all. PS3 sucks. Haha."

Come on. If you don´t have anything else to say, don´t say anything at all! Otherwise it´s sad. It makes you look desperate to say something funny!

I think the story is a decent parody, but it could have been written a little better to include more facts and maybe a Dyson quote about harnessing the sucking power of the PS3. Not bad but could use some work.

I humbly await the opportunity to read how YOU would have written it.